The Wedding Crashers
by onl
Summary: Naomi Campbell and James Cook are divorce mediators who spend their free time crashing wedding receptions. For the irrepressible duo, there are few better ways to drink for free and bed vulnerable women. But the game hits a bump in the road when Naomi locks eyes with bridesmaid Emily Fitch. ( Based on the film Wedding Crashers )
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think?**

**Disclaimer - I don't owns Skins...**

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><p>" I don't have custody of the kids." The ex husband say tiredly.<p>

" You know what? It has been an insane pathetic joke what I've had to go through..." The ex wife tries, but is talked over again by her ex.

" But right now she doesn't even know where the kids are." he says, matter of factly, which serves to stir angry in the women.

" Do not talk about me as a mother!"

" At home?" he asks

" I am so sick and tired of you talking about me as a mother, and what I've done... "

" At your sister's? They're probably setting the house on fire somewhere.. "

They continue to talk over each other, not really listening to what the other is really saying.

"Do not talk to me about that, I am sick of you accusing me of not being a good mother!" She yells

" Are they home? " he asks, calmly again, making her more angry.

" 7 Years I've been a good mother."

" Where are they now?"

"Don't you fucking talk about me being a bad mother, I hate you!" She yells harshly, pointing her finger at her ex.

" Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you just kiss my left nut." he says, calmly.

" I told you this was a bad idea." Her lawyer leans in to her to say, shaking his head at the way things play out.

" You know what Ken, the bad idea would be to let your client walk out of here today, and drag this thing out for another year." Cook informed, looking between both parties, calmly. " Wasting more time and more money." He continues. " The only good idea is to let Naomi and I do our job, and mediate this thing right here." He points down to the case files, containing the case of the lawyers clients.

" And you wanna hear the crazy thing? I know it doesn't feel like it, but we're making progress." Naomi jumps in, calmy. Cook nods in agreement. She continues. " We settled the deal with the car, let see that takes us to frequent flyer miles, we're flying!" she exclaim, looking down at her file.

" Those are mine " The ex husband claims.

" I want them " The ex wife argues.

" You know what we're going to do, we're going to split them right down the middle." Naomi suggests, then looks over to the ex husband on her right. " How does that sound, Mr. Kerger." She asks, eyebrows raised

" It would be not good at all." Mr. Kerger says, in disbelief. Looking between his lawyer and Naomi. " I earned those miles!" He looks at his ex wife. She scoffs.

"Yeah, you earned them flying to Denver to meet your whore." She said, confidently.

" Oh lord. " Naomi said softly, dropping her pen.

" Well she's not afraid to express herself sexually, if that's what you mean." Mr Kerger said, smugly.

" She's a stripper for gods sake!" She shouts, angrily.

" She is not! " He shouts back, just as angrily.

" Her name is Chastity, and she's white trash!" She yells, veins popping in her head a bit." Same as you, Hillbilly!" She finishes, grabbing her bag and rifling through it, grabbing a bottle of pills.

" That's it." He says, smugly. " Go comatous for me baby." he winks.

" You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!" She shouts, not making much sense in her anger.

Cook narrow his eyes at her, while Naomi scrunches hers shut, shaking her head, both seemingly confused at the women sentence.

" Hold it, this is getting confusing. " Naomi speaks first, looks between the ex's. " You didn't always hate each other. There had to be some nice moments, during the courtship maybe?." She looks at the ex wife. " Or the wedding? " She tries.

" The wedding had to be fun! " Cook jumps in. " You got your friends together " he points out.

" The decorations, family coming together.." Naomi adds, both her and Cook looking between the two. " That's a nice moment, What'd you have to eat?" She directs this question at the ex wife.

" Crab cakes." She said, unamused.

" Crab cakes?!" Cook jumps a little in excitement." Are you kidding me? How could you not have a good time eating crab cakes?" he looks over at the ex husband.

" Crab cakes, I love Crab cakes. " Naomi informs during Cooks excited rant.

" I love em " Cook finishes pointing to himself, giving Naomi a chance to ask her next question.

" Did you have a band? " Again Naomi directs this question at the ex wife.

" Yeah. " The wife says softly looking down.

" Good or bad? " Naomi ask, knowing she's getting somewhere.

" Who gives a shit!" Cook shouts before she has a chance to answer . " It's a great band, it's a shit band... It's like pizza, man... It's good no matter what.. There's music in the air.." He throws his hands up in the air, Naomi nodding along.

" That's true. " Naomi says, happily.

" Get them playing shout!" Cooks says.

Naomi and Cook start singing along together, get smiling confused looks from the lawyers and clients.

" It's a good time, ya know? Rubbing up against each other, Just a couple of kids who like to fuck trying to make it honest, I get it! " Cook continues, getting carried away. While Naomi mutters a low agreement.

" Guys the real enemy here is the institution of marriage." Cook continues his rant barely having time to take a breathe. " It's not realistic, it's crazy." He says to each of the clients as they look at each other for the first time calm and understanding. " Don't do this for the other person, it's about saying yes to yourself, and say yes to your future.

" Say yes. " Naomi says, nodding along for Cook to continue as it seems to be working.

" ..And have some opportunities for yourself, I'm sure you'd love to be free, maybe go out and meet some latin guy that can dance." He directs it towards the ex wife, who's listening intently. Cook continue " Let him grind up on you, make you feel dangerous, but also safe." He winks at her and then turns to the Ex husband. " And how bout you? Don't you wanna get inside Chastity without having to worry if anyone is going to find out?

" God, wouldn't that be sweet? " Naomi ask, softly, smiling at the man.

" Wouldn't that be nice? " Cook says, calming down from his big speech. Turning back to the ex wife again for finishing touches ." Having some latin guy sweating all over you, talking to you in languages you don't understand.. Needing you, wanting you, taking you." He finishes, still looking at her having worked himself up. Naomi turns to the ex husband, to take this thing home.

" All we're trying to say is, put your swords away for a second." She says, calmly, looking between the two." Let's finish this and let's move on." She says.

" Get out there and get some strange arse." Cook says, shaking his head, resting back on his chair..After a moment the ex husband speaks..

" Can you give her a glass of water so she can take that." He says, kindly, point to the pills in front of his ex wife.

Naomi reaches over grabbing the glass and carton, pouring the ex wife a glass of water, than handing it to her.

" Hey Naomi, that's weird, that glass looks half full to me. " He says in a fake voice.

" Wow, now that you mention it, it is half full." Naomi matches his voice, looking at the ex husband, Cook following her lead.

The ex husband turns to his ex wife, as the she speaks.

" He can have the miles." She says, softly, taking a sip of her water.

Naomi and Cook smile and nod, happy they're finally ready to be fair with each other. Looking back at the husband when he speaks.

" Nah sweety, you take the miles." He says, looking down.

" Great! Great, lets sign the paperwork and we are done." Naomi says, writing something down on a file.

" This is just syntactics, if you two wanna throw some miles our way, we'll take a couple." he says, scratching his head looking down at his sheets. " The big thing is that we're all moving on." He finishes, turning a page on his file. While Naomi continues to fill something out on the papers in front of her, ignoring Cook.

" Can you two just not talk any more?" Mr Karger says, calmly.

* * *

><p>Cook is sitting in his office filling out some files when his assistant enters his office with a sleeping bag in her hands. He looks up and drops his pen when he sees her.<p>

" Oh good, ya got me sleeping bag!" he smilings, toothily at her, grabbing the sleeping bag to inspect it. " It's cotton right, that polyester shit makes me skin itch like you wouldn't fucking believe." He says, as he looks at the tag on the sleeper.

" Yes " she says, simply. " Why do you need this? " she asks. Cook looks up handing it back to her to put by his door in his office so he can grab it on the way out tonight.

" I sleep over Naomi's house every year for her birthday." He says, nonchalantly.

" Okayyy, that's not creepy. " She say, bitchly, causing Cook to become irritated.

" I guess it is a little creepy, when a young women, who happens to be an only child, loses both of her parents in a tragic accident one month before her birthday." He looks her right in the eyes, as he see she's getting upset and embarrassed. "...And then has a best friend make a vow, that she will never spend her birthday alone again." He pause for a moment and then continues." Yeah, maybe that would fall under the category of " Creepy "". He does the air quotes as he finishes his little speech.

" Oh my god, I'm so sorry." she sighs, realizing how harsh she was. Cook shakes his head, putting up his hands.

" That's okay " He half smiles.

" No, you're really sweet, I'm sorry." She continues, smiling apologetic. " I have someone perfect for you that I could set you up with." She says, excitedly.

" No thanks, babe, I don't date. " He says, chuckling. " Unless she up for just a willy waggle." He throws out there. She sigh disgusted, turning to leave the room. " Hey could you leave that where she can't see it? " He says, referring to the sleeping bag." Thanks babe." He winks as she leaves.

He presses a button on his conference phone, connecting him to Naomi.

" Nai?"

" _Yeah_"

" I gotta see you right away, it's important."

* * *

><p>A few minutes later Naomi come entering into Cook's office holding a small cup of water, fixing her suit jacket a bit.<p>

" What's going on? " She asks, curiously as she approaches his desk. Sitting down on the chair across from him, taking a sip of her water.

" We have three really big weeks ahead of us." He starts off calmly, then starts clapping excitedly. " It's wedding season, kid! " He shouts excitedly. Naomi slams her water down on the ground in excitement.

" You wanking son of a bitch. " she says, in pure delight and excitement, getting pumped up.

" I got us down for 17 of them already." Cook says, seriously, getting to business. Naomi nods.

" Okay, so how many of them are cash bars? " She asks, just as serious, she not made of money but she wants to have a good time and a couple of drinks are part of that deal. She'd rather not be bankrupt by her third wedding. Cook points at her.

" Great question, love where you're heads at Naoms. And two of them actually are." He says, matter of factly, reaching in to his draw at his desk, pulling out a hard box. " But I got us covered." He says, opening the box in his hand revealing metal badges. " Purple hearts." He winks, placing the box in front of Naomi. " We won't have to pay for a drink all night. " He smiles proud of himself. Naomi grins.

" Oh yeah, perfect!" She says, impressed, then looks up as Cook continues talking.

" We are going to have tons and tons of opportunities to meet fit birds, who are just so aroused by the thought of marriage, that they'll throw their inhibition to the wind." he finishes.

" And who's going to be there to catch them? "Naomi's asks, smiling widely.

"Grab that net, and catch that beautiful butterfly, mate." Cook jokes. " What do you like more, Christmas or wedding season?" Cook asks, smiling goofily, raising his own hand. Naomi plays along and calls on him.

" Mr Cook " She points at him, as if picking him in a group of kids.

" Um, Yes.. The answer would be.. Um , Wedding season." He says, then shakes excitedly in his chair, unable to keep still.

" Bingo! " Naomi says, getting just excited. " I'm gonna go get my dress.. Oh and who are we this time?"

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><p>Naomi and Cook walk up the stairs of the nice looking temple, that awaits their first of many wedding events that they will be attending, as they walk in, they put on their confident attitude, the same one they've been using for years now. Naomi introduces them to the man at the door.<p>

" Hello, I'm Jody silverstein. " She introduces herself using her fake name which seems fitting as this is a jewish wedding. She nod to Cook. " I like you to meet a real mensch, Chuck Abraham." They both smile, confidently. Cook feigns blush.

" Oh stop. " he says, nudging her.

They take their seats as the ceremony begins.

" _And as we carry on the tradition of thousand of years, we honor the eternal bond that stretches through the ages."_ The rabbi says to the couple on the alter.

Though Naomi is too busy stalking her prey to be paying any attention. Naomi is looking around when she see a beautiful brunette turn to her, and their eyes meet. The girl smiles shyly and then looks away blushing. Naomi takes this opportunity to drip eye drops in to her eyes to make it look like she is touch by the ceremony. She looks straight ahead for the rest of the ceremony but can feel the eyes of the girl on her as she feigns being moved by the couple.

She leans back after a while when she's sure she's bagged the brunette for later and whispers to Cook " Okay." and then just like that it's Cook who is searching the crowd for his prey. It's always been like this, they take turns, otherwise it looks too obvious, this way it natural.

Cook sees a nice fit blonde who turn back as if feeling his eyes on her and smiles. Perfect timing as the Rabbi is just finishing up.

" _I now pronounce you husband and wife." _The Rabbi smiles, the now husband smashes the glass in the rag._  
><em>

Naomi and Cook cheer happily shouting "Mazal tov" at the top of their lungs, as the couple kiss. Cook leans over Naomi and grabs an old jewish man, kissing the top of his head in his excitement.

" Mazal tov, baby." he shouts. " From my family to yours." He says, happily. Naomi cracking up at the site.

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><p>At the reception, the traditional jewish music flows through the room as the band happily plays on their instrument. On the dance floor almost everyone is in one big huddle, dancing around the room in circles, including Cook and Naomi, who are basic leading the group, shouting out the lyrics to a one of the songs in hebrew. Laughing the whole time.<p>

They make their way around the room after that, charming the arse off of every single person in the room. As a team they could charm the pants off a fucking nun.

They end up being on either side of the bride, as they hoist her up in the chair, singing hebrew, bouncing her up and down having the time of their life, having knock back a few already.

At one point Cook is showing some kids from the wedding a magic trick that one of their old friend had taught him, then they were eating some cake, which Cook kept stealing some of Naomi's, she couldn't even be mad at him because he's such a beast when it comes to food. They even ended up being part of the wedding when Naomi had a bit more than she should have and decide Cook and her should make a speech.

" You both looked beautiful up there today, especially Debbie in that white dress. " Naomi looks at the bride and smiles. " Enjoy it, after tommorow don't think you'll be able to get away with wearing a white anymore." Everyone laughs, including the bride and the groom.

They get on with the party. Dancing with random guest, women, men, old women, old men, kids. Anyone who was willing, just having a good time.

At one point in the party, Cook was dancing with an old women, trying to get the blonde from earlier to notice his sweet side, which was working if the way she was looking at him was anything to go by. It was only a matter of time before he made his move.

As for Naomi she was sat at a table, a fair bit away from the brunette back at temple, who's had her eyes on Naomi ever since. Naomi folded up a piece of paper that she had scribbled a little note on it and called over a little girl sitting in the table near by. She handed the little girl the paper.

" I want you to take this note and bring it to that brunette girl over there." Naomi whisper to her. " And hurry because I'm going to time you." she says jokingly, getting the girl to hustle.

The little girl ran to the brunette, handing to her. The brunette smile at the little girl and then after opening the note with read '_ Do you want to dance?'_ ask the little girl who gave the note to her. The little girl pointed over to Naomi, who smiled and wave at the women sweetly causing the brunette to blush.

They end up slow dancing for a while, until the brunette decided to break the silence.

" You know I saw you at the wedding. " She says, shyly.

" And? " the blonde asks, feigning confusion.

" You were crying." She said, softly. Naomi sighed.

" Oh bollocks, you weren't suppose to see that, now you probably think I'm a big baby. " Naomi says putting on an act, looking away, pulling out of her grasp a little.

" No, you were so sweet, come here. " Sarah says, pulling Naomi in closer, kissing her.

Next to Naomi, Cook was dancing with his girl, bragging about being a bull rider or whatever. She was eating out of his hand. There was no doubt where this night was ending, for the both of them. Naomi and Cook caught each others eye and winked. This was going to be great wedding season, they both thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Skins...**

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><p>The next three weeks of Wedding Season are filled with women, drinking, partying, lying, and more women. Sometimes there were so many, they'd lost count. Love' em and Leave' em, the rule that Naomi and Cook lived by since the beginning. They tell the women what they wanna hear, lie through their teeth if they must, make them believe that it's more than what it is, and once they get what they want, they're gone without a second thought.<p>

That was until the last night of Wedding Season when something click in Naomi, that she herself wasn't expecting. She's lying in bed next to her latest pickup, Sophia , having just rolled off her, after given her a earthshattering oragasm if the screams coming from her was anything to goes by. When Sophia went to cuddle up to her, Naomi decide to break the silence. She pulled away a little.

" Hold on, sorry. " She whispered, moving a little bit away from the girl. " Vivian, I feel like I don't even know you." She said, softly, breathing heavily. Hoping the brunette will get the hint.

The girl looks up to the ceiling with glossy eyes.

" It's Sophia." She corrects, biting her top lip in order to stop the tears brimming her eyes. Naomi turns to look at her feeling bad for messing up the girls name but doesn't say anything, looking up at the ceiling. " Would you say you're completely full of shit, or just 50 percent?" Sophia asks, upset.

" I hope just 50, but who knows." Naomi sighs, thinking she's probably the full 100.

Sophia nods, still not looking over to Naomi. She gets up as the tears start leaking out of her eyes, walking to the bathroom to freshen up and get dress, Naomi assumes. Naomi watches her go, feeling bad for the first time in a long time. She doesn't want to admit it but that question, which was meant to be sarcastic, hit a nerve in the blonde.

* * *

><p>Early in the morning as the suns coming up the next day, Naomi and Cook are sat on a hill, looking over Bristol sharing a bottle of champagne. They always come there at the end of every Wedding Season, enjoying the scenery, and sometimes bragging about their shags. Though this time feels different, to Naomi at least.<p>

Cook passes the bottle over to Naomi, while breaking the silence that descended over them.

" Bet that brunette was a real shot of life." He says, wiggling his eyebrows and then winking at her.

" Yeah, real shot." Naomi nods, weakly, looking out into the distance thinking. " Do you ever think that we shouldn't be doing this anymore, like we're being little irresponsible or something?" She turns to look at Cook to catch his reaction.

" Nah, man." He shakes head, than smiles. " One day we'll look back at all this and laugh...Say we were young and stupid." He nudged her leg a little.

She takes a sip of the bottle, chuckling along with Cook as he continues.

" Couple of young kids running around.." he says, playfully. Naomi smile falls a little.

" We're not that young." She says, both Cook and her losing there smile all together, while looking straight out into the distance, lose in their own thoughts.

Cook grabs the bottle from Naomi, who hands it over absent mindedly. Cook stares at her for a moment, while her eyes are still glued to the distance. He sits up a little, raises the bottle in the air.

" Hell of a season, mate." Taking a big swing.

" Hell of season." Naomi repeats in response, not really meaning her own words.

* * *

><p>A knock on her office door pulls Naomi eyes away from the file she's been working on. She looks up to see Cook standing there holding a newspaper.<p>

" Oi, wanker." She greets, playfully, finishing her last thought on her paper, while Cook enters. Cook throws the newspaper on her desk. peaking Naomi's curiously.

" What do we have here?" Naomi asks, picking up the paper. Cook sits across from her, smile mischievously.

" Christmas come early. " He winks, as Naomi's reads the headline.

" Secretary Fitch?" She asks as she reads something about a wedding for a very close family friend of the Fitches, or more so of Rob Fitch himself.

" The Secretary of the Treasury." He informs, excitedly. Naomi eyes scanning the paper. " The guy ya luved since business school." He says, and it's true Naomi looked up to the man, always wanted to meet him. " Don't thank me." He smiles, which means he wants her to thank him.

" I don't know." She bites her lip, unsure. " I mean, I thought the season was over, I was looking forward to taking a break for a little bit." She explains, calmly.

" Nai, what are you talking about?" He looks at her in disbelief. " This is the Wedding of all Wedding's. It's the Fitches, their a british institution!" He informs, shaking his head. " Mate, there are going to be over 200 single women at this wedding!" he points to the paper, seeing Naomi thinking about it." Not to mention they have three live bands, they got osters, snacks, ace finger foods." He pushes.

" I'm tired, okay? " She looks down. " My feet hurt, my voice is hoarse." She explain, grasping at straws.

" Oh please don't take a turn to negative town." He say, softly.

" What you talking about? Who's getting negative?" Naomi says, offended.

" At the Johnson's reception, you were sitting in the corner sulking." he accuses, matter a factly. She looks taken aback.

" I wasn't sulking, I twisted my ankle!" She defends, Cook shakes his head.

" Rule number 6; Don't sit in the corner to sulk." He recites, out of the many rules created by crashers before them, she sighs. " It draws attention to you in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself but on your own terms." He says, non helpfully.

" Please don't quote the rules at me, I know them." She says, unamused.

" When Uncle Keith passed the sacred rules of Wedding crashing down to us 10 years ago, he gave us a legacy." He says, strongly, moving up in his chair toward her.

" You make it sound like a cult, okay?" Naomi says, annoyed." And from everything you told me about Uncle Keith, he sounds like a looney." She says, seriously, offending Cook affectedly.

" You take that back!" He exclaims, defending his role model." Uncle Keith ain't no looney!"

" He lived with his mother until he was 40, she tried to poison his oatmeal." she scoffs, at how ridiculous it was for Cook to look up to such a man.

" Bullshit, bull fucking shit Noams! " Cook shouts, getting worked up.

" Oh Lord, here we go again." Naomi says, sitting back in her chair, waiting for Cook to finish.

" What you should be worried about, is not Uncle Keith, who's in the hall of fame." He couldn't help himself to defend him one last time. " What you should be worried about, is you're getting sloppy." he states, Naomi rolls her eyes and sigh." Now if you sit there and except me to go out on a limb, and try to pull off the greatest crasher of all time, I gotta know that your heads right." He looks at her, as she smiles and shakes her head about how dramatic Cook is being. She looks back at the paper thinking, Cook sees this as a good sign and continues. " There is no room for error. They'll be Secret services, and consequences." He lists.

" I love your enthusiasm." She says, gently, smiling fondly at him. Than getting down to business, pointing at the paper. " If I do this, I don't want to half arse it. I want it well planned." She looks up at Cook.

"She's back! " He slams his hand on the desk, happily. Naomi giggling at his excitement.

He stands up shaking her hand.

" Alright partner, we'll start skimming tonight, okay?" He says, on his way out.

" Sounds good, mate!" Naomi says, cheerfully.

" If you need me I'm on line 6." He points to her phone, leaving the office.

"Okay." Naomi shouts.

Naomi stares at the photo of Rob Fitch in the newspaper thinking and then shrugs.

" It could be fun." She says to herself into the empty room, getting back to work.

* * *

><p>The day of the Wedding has arrived, Naomi and Cook standing outside looking up at the beautiful church. They stand there in awe at the huge crowd of people standing outside. Cook is dress in a very expensive looking tuxedo, while Naomi is wearing a very eloquent black dress, that's lose around the legs, but snug on the chest and hips. She's looking beautiful, and dressed perfectly to fit in with such a posh crowd.<p>

Apparently this whole Wedding was paid by the one and only Secretary Rob Fitch as a gift to family friend, Pandora Moon. According to the newspaper article, Pandora is practically family to the Fitches, due to the unfortunate death of her mother at such a young age, Panda grew up with the Fitches, so when it was time for her to wed, Secretary Fitch was more than happy to support the wedding as he wanted it to be everything she ever dreamed of.

Naomi watched as the guest one by one shook Secretary Fitches hand, congratulating him and his wife Jenna as if it was there child. Cook pulled her out of her stare as he handed her a file.

" Okay, let's do our pre-game." he says, looking at the guest in front of him.

" What do you got?" Naomi asks, flipping through the file carefully, see a picture of Rob in Times magazine.

" A few articles of Secretary Fitches economic policy." He informs, continuing as Naomi flips through the pages. " There's also a list of key family members." Naomi look through it very impressed at Cook's investigating skills. " And a glossary of sailing terms." He finishes, leaving Naomi confused.

" Sailing?" She ask, looking up at Cook.

" Sailing is like sex to these people, babes, they love it." He winks, She shrugs looking back down at the file.

" Harvard, Kennedy school of government, Mum's big with charity." She reads off the list." Blah Blah Blah, Twin daughters, one son.. I get it, good work." She nods, handing the file back to Cook.

" Good." He says, just a Naomi looks up at the Secretary again, but this time seeing someone else with them. Her breath hitched, her heart skipped a beat, and she felt a bit dizzy as she takes in the beauty before her.

She was smiling the most beautiful smile Naomi has ever seen, so wide she was scared the girls face would split. Her eyes were sparkling as she shook the hands of the men talking to the Secretary moments before, the women brought her hand up to brush her hair behind her ear, and that's when Naomi look up a little and notice the cherry red hair flowing stunningly down her shoulders, and she wondered for a moment how she missed it before, than realized that the woman's smile must have blinded her from everything else.

Without taking her eyes off the girl, Naomi reach her hand out to Cook.

" Let me see that again please." She asked, waiting for the file, watching as the redhead fixes the Secretary's tie while talking to the men kindly.

" Okay, what's our back story?" Cook asks, adjusting his collar. Naomi eyes are still on the girl while she speaks.

" We're siblings from London, we're venture capitalist." She states, eyes glued to the figure in front of her.

" I'm sick of that!" Cook exclaims, annoyingly. Naomi pulls her eyes away, scrunching them up, hates when Cook becomes difficult. " Let be from Derby, and lets have a emerging maple syrup conglomerate." Cook suggest, eyebrows raised. Naomi shakes her head.

" Okay, that stupid, we don't know anything about maple syrup." Naomi say, squinting her eyes at his idiotice. Cook look well offended.

" I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup, I love maple syrup." He defends, effectively annoying Naomi. " I love maple syrup on pancakes, I love it on pizza, I like to put a little maple syrup in my hair when I've had a rough week, what do you think holds it up, slick." He says, Naomi looking at him like he's the biggest knob head of all knob heads.

" Cook, it's the first court of the big game, and you wanna toss up a hail mary.." She explains, in the only way she thinks Cook will understand. " I'd like to be pimps from Oakland, or cowboys from Arizona, but it's not Halloween, grow up Peter pan." She sighs looking away not noticing Cook hurt expression. " Look, we've been to a million wedding's, and guess what? We've rocked them all." She winks.

* * *

><p>In the Church Naomi and Cook find their seat. Cook nudges Naomi and nods to a women, while everyone is finding there sit before the ceremony starts.<p>

" 5th row back with the fancy hat." he points out, she looks to see a women with gigantic hat, scoffs, other than that, she isn't Naomi's type. " I like that." Cook says, still looking. Naomi shake her head and leans in to him.

" Don't waste your time on girls with hats, they tend to be very proper." She informs, from her own experience. Naomi looks forward again as Cook continues to stare. The girl with the hat looks at him suggestively.

" Yeah, well the proper girl in the hat just eye fucked the shit out of me." He says, too loudly for a church, that becomes apparent when three people sitting in front of them turns around disgusted. Naomi quickly whispers her apologizes, then turns to Cook.

" Why don't you say it a little louder, I don't think the priest heard you." She whispered, flatly.

" Look Nai, I'm sorry I'm not sorry, Okay?" He whispers back." I'm not to apologize for being a Cocksman." he says, loud enough for the same people in front of them to hear, turning around again twice as disgusted. Naomi sighs, looking down and shaking her head.

" Turrets." Naomi whisper, quickly, to explain her friends behaviour. Someone takes a seat next to Naomi, and extends out their hand, Naomi shakes it.

" John Myers." He introduces.

" Naomi Ryan." She smiles, points over to Cook. " Say hello to my brother, James." Cook shakes his offered hand.

" Hi, how are ya?" he asks, kindly.

" So.. How do you know the groom?" John ask Naomi.

" We are Uncle Neds kids." She replies, remembering the file.

" Uncle Ned..." the man seems to be in thought." Is he a business partner?" He asks, confused. Dealing with this a million times before, Naomi is far from nervous.

" Uncle Ned, the brother of Aunt Liz." She informs, he seems to remember.

" How is everybody?" He asks, smiling. Naomi smirks.

" Well dad kinda butters around the house, Aunt Liz sends her best, she couldn't make it." She says, John stares at her strangely for a moment.

" Yeah, I know, she's dead. " He looks at her confused. Naomi freezes for a second, can't think of what to say.

" From the grave." Cook jumps in, saving the day. " She sends her best from the grave, we've become extremely spiritual ever since she passed." Cook explains, feigning sadness.

"Oh I see." The man smiles. Cook reaches out his hand to the man.

" Thank you so much for your kindness, mate." He reaches out again, this time to caress the mans face." Lord knows we need kindness more than ever." he stroke the mans face, mission accomplished when the man nods nervously and pulls away looking to the person next to him, taking the attention off them. Cook then turns to Naomi when the song starts to play to commence the start of the ceremony.

" Rule number 32, you don't commit to a relative unless you are certain they have a pulse." He whispers, harshly.

" Rule 16, give me a up to date family tree." She responds, just as harshly. " That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot." She looks away, angrily.

" Rule number 76, no excuses play like a champion." Cook comes back with, Naomi just rolls her eyes, both turn to the back of the church as the music starts to play.

They see Jenna Fitch walking down the aisle, her arm looped through who they assume is her son, James Fitch. She's trying to fix his hair, the boy's embarrassed, pushing his mothers hand away. They continue down toward the altar. Behind them is a man and an old women.

The Bridesmaids start walking down the aisle, and that's when Cook spots her. A woman who was able to give off such a sluttly vide even though she was wearing the same outfit as all the other bridesmaids was wearing. The way she walks, Cook guessed. And if there was one thing Cook loved; it was a sluttly women. She turn to look at him and winked. That's when he decided than to claim her as his own.

" Dibs." He called to Naomi, who barely hears him, as her eyes was on someone else entirely.

" She all yours." She muttered, once again hypnotized by the beauty that was this girl with the cherry red hair, who's name she discovered to be Emily.

Naomi watched as the redhead walk down the aisle, holding a bouquet of white roses, smiling shyly at people as she went. She look stunning with her tight form fitting dark purple dress that hugged her in all the right places, hitting Naomi right in the core as she stared longingly at her.

" Ain't gonna fight ya." She added to herself more than Cook, smiling dreamily at the redhead.

Everyone stands as the Wedding song begins, and the Bride makes her way down to the alter. Rob is walking her down as she never met her father. They get to the altar and Rob hands Panda off to the groom, smiling and shaking the dark skinned man by the name of Thomas, hand, whose smile was the biggest.

Naomi leans in to Cook.

" I think we have a crier." She states.

" No way." Cook shakes his head.

" Tenner." Naomi bets, confidently.

" You're on " Cook deals, thinking he's got it in the bag.

They wait all of 10 seconds, when the bride breaks out into water works. Naomi smiles smugly, while Cook hits his leg in disappointment of getting it wrong.

" Oi, are you kidding me." He says, shaking his head.

"It's beautiful.." Naomi teases." It's moving, it's a wedding" She laughs lightly as Cook scoffs, reaching in his pocket.

* * *

><p>"<em>As you all know, Thomas and Pandora are quite the sailing enthusiast." <em>The priest says. " _In that light, they have chosen to exchange vows which they themselves have written." _He finishes, looking between the couple.

Naomi notices the redhead who is also the maid of honor look over to her twin, smiling at each other as if in on an inside joke.

" I, Thomas, take you, Panda, to be my wife." The groom, begins. " My best friend and my first mate."

This creates a tiny giggle from Emily causing her whole body to shake. She straightens up a bit, trying to compose herself. Naomi smiles to herself as she watches.

" I promise to captain our ship of love and to stay with that ship no matter how rough the seas." Thomas continues,

The red head stifles another laugh this one noticeable to the bride, as she turns around to make a face as to say ' cut it out '. The redhead mouths a 'Sorry' and puts her head down to gather herself. All the while Naomi can't keep her eyes off her, in the 10 years of wedding crashing, she has never seen anyone in the bridal party laugh during the vows.

"You are the star I set my course to. You are my magnetic north. My sextant always point to you." Thomas says, and that's what tip the scale.

The redhead lets out a loud laugh, and tries to cover it with a cough. The bride and groom turn to face her.

" Sorry, just a little tickle." Emily coughs again to prove her point." Please continue." She smiles.

Naomi thinks she's never heard a sound more beautiful than the redheads voice.

" Well that's a first." Cook says to Naomi.

" She's amazing..." Naomi says, enamoured.

The bride places the ring on the grooms finger.

"I Panda take you, Thomas, to be my husband, my best friend, and my Captain." The bride says.

Emily is in pure agony right now as she pinches herself to keep from losing it.

"To be your anchor and your sail, your starboard and your port, your bow and your stern." The bride continues.

The redhead has to turn around, her shoulders are heaving.

"Your life, your love, your lady, and the sea." The bride keeps going.

Still turned around, The redhead snort-laughs.

"_By the power vested in me the Roman Catholic Church and by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife_." The priest announces. "You may now... kiss your first mate." he finishes, a little reluctantly.

The redhead explodes in laughter which is drowned out by the guests' applause as the Bride and Groom walk down the aisle.  
>The groomsmen and bridesmaids file out after them. Naomi studies the redhead the whole way down the aisle. She's enthralled.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N : Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Skins...**

* * *

><p>Naomi and Cook walk through an entrance area and into a large banquet room at the Chatham Beach Club, where the reception is being held. Naomi's holding a gift. Off to the side is a bar area and to the other side is a deck with an ocean view. Everything is decorated beautifully. There are opulent platters of food. A Swing Band is playing. It's like something from Gatsby. A waiter comes by with a tray of lobster canapes. They each take one. Then Cook takes another. The waiter walks off. Cook looks around. He's in heaven. Women and food.<p>

" Sweet, huh? What did I tell you?" Cook says, looking around.

" You said it would be sweet." Naomi smiles, placating Cook.

Naomi sees Emily has arrived and she can't help but smile. She turns to Cook.

" Get us seats near-but not too near- the bridal party. I'll drop the fake present." She says, beginning to walk off.

" Excellent. And if you see any crab cakes, grab me some. Got to have some crab cakes." He shouts, just before she's out of earshot.

Naomi walks off to find the gift table. Cook surveys the room. He looks at the name cards on the plates and pulls out several names cards from his suit pocket. He shuffles through the cards and finds a style match. He takes two other cards from the table.

" Sorry Mr. and Mrs. Burgess. I'm sure we'll find you another lovely table." Cook mutters to himself, putting the name cards that read ' Naomi Ryan' And ' James Ryan' on the table.

Naomi approaches the wedding present table and places the fake gift down. Emily walks up and starts checking out the gifts. She pick up a medium sized box and gives it a little shake. Naomi smiles at the sight.

" Fondue set." She says, confidently to Emily.

Emily looks up at the voice and locks eyes with the most beautiful set she has ever seen, she begins to get nervous as her heart rate picks up and her palms begin to get sweaty. She never felt this way just by looking at someone before, especially a complete stranger. She composes herself a moment later, telling herself to get it together.

" Excuse me?" Emily says, as she's not sure what the blonde was talking about.

" The present you're holding. It's a sterling silver fondue set." Naomi say again, holding out her hand. " Naomi Ryan " She introduces herself.

" Emily Fitch." Emily shakes her hand, trying to ignore the jolt of electricity that travels down her arm at the simple gesture, hopes Naomi doesn't notice how sweaty her hands are. She internally shakes her head. " How do you know?" She asks, referring to the present.

" Sort of a psychic." Naomi says, shrugging.

" Really? " Emily smiles, doesn't want to stop talking to the girl, so she picks up another box. " What's this one, then? " She asked, waiting for the blondes answer.

" Knife set. Very nice. Germen." Naomi nods, feigning being impressed.

Emily picks up another one.

" Cotton linens, Egyptian." She says, then quickly picks up a series of presents naming them all. " Place setting. Candlesticks, Crystal Stemware... Which they'll never use by the way and I have to say, is bad karma." she finishes, smiling.

Emily holds up a small box.

" Massage oils and a book on Tantra. Probably from the wacky Aunt." She says, giggling.

" Oils, huh." Emily said, smiling, looking at the card attached to the small box. " Aunt Millie. Wow. You definitely have a gift." She says, smiling fondly at Naomi.

" Yes. Unfortunately, my powers only apply to useless consumer products." The blonde says, which a lopsided grin. Emily laughs.

"Well, look, if one day the police need someone to find a missing Belgian waffle maker, you're there." She says, jokingly.

Naomi laughs, Emily thinks it her new favorite sound.

" Emily, we need you for pictures." Jenna appears out of nowhere, requesting Emily. " Who's your friend? " She asks, looking Naomi up and down.

" This is Naomi Ryan." She smiles, as she says the name.

" You remember my name. Very good." The blonde jokes.

" I have a gift. " Emily winks, walking away with her mother, Jenna gives Naomi one last look of distaste.

* * *

><p>A little while later Naomi enters to the bar area, Cook walks up to her, eating.<p>

" You must try the bacon wrapped scallops. " He moans, chewing happily.

" Will do." Naomi smiles, then notices a woman approaching. She turns to Cook. " Oh shite! Isn't that the chick you picked up at the Byrne Wedding?" She whispers. Cook looks up, sees the women.

"Quick, hide me." He panics, grabbing Naomi.

" Too late. We'll do number ten from the playbook." She states, calmly.

The women reaches them.

" Shlomo?! I thought you were renouncing your possessions and moving to Nepal." She asks, surprised and confused to see him.

Cook looks at her, feigning confusion.

" Shlomo? Don't you remember me?" She asks. Naomi cuts in.

" Oh, God, I'm sorry. You didn't hear, I guess. Shlomo had a bad accident. In the Himalayas. He doesn't remember anyone. Even me, his own sister..." She looks down, seemingly upset." ... I'm just some nice women who helps him out." She smiles, sadly.

" Oh you poor dear. " She says, buying it.

Cook looks at her and then does a fake sign language to Naomi. Naomi looks to the women.

" I'm afraid he can't hear you. Part of the accident. You here for the Fitches Wedding?" She tries to change the subject.

" Yea, but I have to leave. I've got a flight to Madrid." She says, disappointed.

Out of her sight, Cook mouths " Thank god " to Naomi.

" But I could hang out for a few minutes." She say, stroking Cooks arm." Oh, poor Shlomo."

Cook does more fake sign language.

" He wants me to take him to the bathroom. " She fake translate, watching as Cook continues." And he wants some crab cakes." Naomi starts sighing back. " Okay, we'll go to the bathroom first then we'll get the crab cake."

Cook signs angrily. Naomi sighs.

" Fine. We'll get you the crab cakes first." She says to Cook, then turns to the women." Please excuse us."

The women hand Naomi a card.

" Here's my number if there's anything I can do to help." She says, walking away. Cook grabs the card.

" Cool. In a couple of weeks I'll have you call her for me. Guaranteed shag." He nods, putting the card in his pocket." Deaf- mute amnesiac, they love that. I won't even have to buy her dinner." He smiles.

" Charming." Naomi snorts." So what angle are you going to work here? " she asks Cook, who's looking around.

" Uh... I think I will start with a public balloon animal display for the kids and then, when that bird draws near, do the man-haunted-by-noble-past." He smirks.

" Excellent." Naomi says.

" You? " Cook asks.

" No brainer. I'm gonna work the Dad and then dance with the little flower girl. Public policy minded and good with kids." Naomi winks.

" Beautiful." Cook says.

" Let's do it." Naomi says, as they go their separate way.

* * *

><p>Cook is making balloon animals for the kids. Presently he's making an elephant. He hands the finished elephant to the kid while all the other kids are impressed. Cook looks around for Katie, the bridesmaid he had " Dibs " on at the ceremony. He find her looking at him from the corner of the room.<p>

" Okay, who's next?" He asks, looking around at the group of excited kids. A bratty kid step in front of the crowd.

" Make me a Bicycle. " He demands, annoyingly. Cook signs.

A little later Naomi is dancing with the Flower girl, who's counting her steps cutely, making the blonde smile sincerely.

" One, two, three, step..One, two, three, step.." The flower repeats, looking down at her feet. Naomi has an idea.

" Tell you what. Why don't you just step on my shoes, and I'll show you a few moves you can bust out on your classmates." She suggests, thanking her lucky stars she wore flats." Would you like that?" She ask, smiling at the sweet little girl.

" Yes, please." The little girl smiles, shyly.

She steps on Naomi's shoes and she moves the Flower Girl around the floor like Gene Kelly. She laughing with Naomi, having the time of her life. Emily notices Naomi and smiles at her. Naomi smiles back and dips the flower girl, who's eating this up. Emily watches them biting her lip.

* * *

><p>Cook hands an incredibly elaborate balloon bicycle to the bratty kid, who doesn't even look impressed. Katie walks up and notices the balloon.<p>

" You're good." She say, flirtastily.

" This is nothing. Yesterday I made my gran a new house. Real nice one, too, with a pool." He jokes, Katie giggles.

" Alright than, I'll take a sports car." She plays, along, thinking he's fit as fuck.

" Or how about a dance instead?" he suggested, and she thinks he smooth as well.

" That's what I really wanted." She winks, Cook pulls her out to the dance floor.

* * *

><p>Naomi somehow ends up with Secretary Fitch.<p>

" You read my position paper on market expansion in Micronesia? The Secretary asked, impressed. Naomi nods.

" Of course, read it while I was sailing my boat to Bermuda." She lies, about the sailing, not the book. Rob smiles.

" Ah, a sailor. Good lass. Hey, you didn't happen to catch my speech on the Paraguayan Debt and money Supply issue, did you?" He ask, curiously.

" Are you kidding me? It was brilliant. Now if only Congress weren't so short-sighted." She shakes her head.

Secretary Fitch is thrilled by Naomi's praise.

" Yes, yes! So short sighted." He puts his arm around the blonde." Naomi, what do you say you and I head out to the deck and light up a couple of cigars?" he smiles, toothily, enjoying his new friend.

" Nothing would make me happier, Sir." Naomi says, happy that she'd impressed her idol.

* * *

><p>Back on the dance floor, Cook and Katie are slow dancing.<p>

" And you saved his life? " Katie asks, knowing damn well this bloke was full of shit, but he was well fit and she wanted a new boyfriend, so she went along.

" Yeah, some others weren't so lucky. It still shakes me up to talk about it." He says, looking away.

" I'm sorry." Katie feigned feeling bad.

" It's okay, it's just... we lost some really good man." He says, sadly.

Cook stopped dancing and look down, deep in thought.

"If you'll excuse me. I think I need to get some fresh air." He shakes her hand. " It was nice meeting you." He walks off, leaving Katie confused, maybe he wasn't as full of shit as she thought, she thinks going after him.

Cook is walking off towards the ocean, when Katie calls.

" James! wait up."

Over Cook's shoulder, Katie is running to catch up to him. Cook smile to himself. He's got her.

* * *

><p>Naomi and Rob are out on the deck, smoking cigars, and looking out into the ocean.<p>

" Naomi, you seem like an astute women." Sec. Fitch said, honestly.

" Thank you, sir." Naomi smiled.

" Maybe you can help explain something to me." he nods toward the corner of the deck." See that young man over there.

Naomi looks to see a young man, about 22, she knows it to be Robs son, James Fitch. He changed since the wedding, now wearing a flowery dress, looking with binoculars over at the party guest.

" That's my son, James. Twenty-two years old. The whole world in front of him. Every advantage in life. Advantages I never had. So here's my question : why does he have to be so odd for?

" I don't know sir. Maybe he hasn't found anything to believe in yet." Naomi states, unsure of what to say.

" Maybe." He shrugs, he turns his attention to the waiter as he walks pass holding up his drink. " Um, Franklin, my daiquiri's at half mast." the waiter grabs the glass.

" Right away, sir." he nods.

" I'm sure he's, you know, just trying finding his way, I mean you cast a big shadow" she adds.

" Perhaps I should take it easier on him?" He asks.

" Perhaps." Naomi shrugs.

Sometime later Naomi and Rob are laughing happily, still chatting easily when Emily sees them together, she walks up to them.

" Oh so you're hiding, I see." She says to her father, smiling. But the two are too busy laughing to hear her at first. Rob looks to his right and sees her, still laughing a bit. He puts his arm around her shoulder.

" Emily." Rob says, kindly. Happy to see his daughter.

" Sorry to interrupt." Emily apologizes, smiling sweetly at Naomi, surprised to see she's talking with her father. She tears her eyes away from Naomi's - which is a bit harder than she thought it should be - and turns to her dad. " Panda wants to talk to you." She says.

" Funs over, I guess." Naomi says, causing Rob to point at Naomi and laugh as if she the most amusing person he's ever met. Emily shake her head and smiles at Naomi.

" Funny." He mumbles, still giggle to himself. Emily smiles nodding as he walks off.

" What a great guy." Naomi says, watching him walk away. Emily smiles, squinting her eyes Naomi.

" You are a big hit at this Wedding." She points out, still smiling.

" Well, everyone's so nice, it easy." The blonde responds, with causes the redhead to look down, shaking her head and laugh slightly. She walks a little closer to Naomi and leans in.

" They're all full of shit." She whisper, smirking slightly.

" What?" Naomi asks, not sure she's heard her correctly.

" Half these people are here because of my dad." She states, looking out at the mass of people." They're all suckling at the power-teat." She finishes.

"Yeah. Well, I'm here for the crab cakes and power-teat. When is the suckling, by the way? After the first dance." Naomi asks, jokingly.

The redhead let's out a beautiful laugh, Naomi smiles at the sound.

" I don't know. Everyone's walking around trying to act like they care. It's awful." She says, shaking her head." Plus the place is rife with lawyer's. A gazillion lawyers." She finishes.

" Not big on lawyers?" The blonde asks.

" Hate 'em." Looks up a Naomi in a panic." I mean..You're not one are you? " She asks, nervously. Figures if she is, than that means Emily likes at least one lawyer in this world.

" Oh God, no. But just out of curiosity, what have you got against them." The blonde asks.

" Lawyers are by nature liars." She looks Naomi right in the eyes. " And I hate liars." she says, and Naomi gulps.

In the distance Emily and Naomi see a few people slap Sec. Fitch on the back and share a laugh with him. Emily turns back to Naomi.

" See? Suckling." She smiles at the blonde.

Naomi laughs, can't help but find her completely adorable.

" Maybe, but I think most people come to weddings, even this one, because they want to believe they're in the presence of true love, that true love is possible." She says, then adds," Even the lawyers, and the sucklers."

Emily just looks at her.

" True love, huh? And what is ' true love ', Naomi Ryan?" She stares intently at the blonde.

" Well... true love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another." Naomi say, simply.

This obviously moves Emily deeply, but she tries to wave it off.

" Well, that's a little cheesy." she tries to compose herself. " But I like it." she says, softly.

" Well I saw it on a bumper sticker once." Naomi shrugs Emily looks down and laughs. " So are you giving a toast?" She asks Emily, changing the subject.

" Yes." Emily answers quickly.

" You nervous?" Naomi asks, it's clear she is.

" A little bit."

" What are you gonna say?"

"Would you.." Emily pulls a small folder paper out of her dress, handing it to Naomi.

" You keep it in your cleavage?" Naomi opens the paper.

" No where else to put it." Emily laughs, while Naomi scan over the speech. " Normally I'm terrible at these things, but I think this one's pretty good."

Naomi keeps reading shaking her head.

" I had to fight the urge to be completely honest. What do you think?" Emily asks.

" I think the urge won." Naomi eyes still on paper, not seeing Emily narrowing her eyebrows.

" What are you talking about?!" She asks, confused.

" You can't say this." Naomi laughs.

"Why not? " Emily raised her voice a little.

" "I never thought my best friend would find someone who cared about what people thought as much as she did, until I met Thomas." " Naomi quotes.

" What?! It's funny. Funny because it's true." Emily points at Naomi. "People like funny."

" No, see, the funny-because-it's-true bit only works if the truth is a small thing like "" Tim's a little frugal"" or "" We all know Jennifer likes to shop. ha ha."" Naomi informs." I mean, people are here for a wedding, not to see Don Rickles at the sand." Naomi jokes." I'd give it fifteen, maybe twenty percent chance of a laugh. Not worth it. See, people want something from the heart, honestly, that's you're best bet" Naomi finish.

" Well I think people are going to love it." Emily says, a little perturbed.

" Nope, you're gonna get dead silence. Crickets." She warns.

" You're wrong." Emily grabs the paper back. " I'm going to stick with it."

" Fine. I'll be in the back of the room waiting to tell you I told you so." Naomi says, playfully.

Emily tries to look mad, but can't help the smile on her face as she walks away.

* * *

><p>The best man is finishing up his toast, back in the banquet room.<p>

" But I think Bruce Springsteen said it best when he said , "" Someday baby, I don't know when we're gonna find that place where we walk in the sun."' And I just want to say how happy I am am that my best friend and the women he loves have found that place. It's truly inspiring to us all." He finishes, taking a sip of his wine.

An Audible "Aww" comes from the guests. They clink their glasses. Naomi's standing in the back of the room, she makes eye contact with Emily. Naomi makes a gag sign, Emily smiles, then stands up to make her speech.

" I never thought my best friend would find someone who cared about what people thought as much as she did. Until I met Thomas." She starts

Not a laugh in the place. In fact people are dismayed.

" As you all know both Panda and Thomas are lawyers at big firms in London. But that's not the only thing they have in common. You see, they both have the same favorite color. Green. " She pauses. " Uh...like...Money? You know?

Again, not a laugh. The guest are starting to shift in their seats, becoming uncomfortable.

" Look, I'm sorry. I'm not really good at this sort of thing." She says, nervously.

She looks to Naomi, who points to her heart.

" But I will tell you this. I've heard it said that true love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. " Emily starts, staring at the blonde as she speaks" That's a very rare thing in this world and it's something to be valued. And I'm just really happy that my best friend found it." She finished, looking at the newlyweds.

The guest all say " Aww." The bride starts to cry, rushing up and hugging Emily. The guest applaud. Emily looks over at Naomi who motions for her to meet her at the bar.

* * *

><p>Back on the beach, Cook and Katie are under a blanket after just having sex.<p>

" That was so amazing." Katie breathe out, he really knows what he's doing, Katie thinks.

" Yeah, great." Cook says, boredly. " What do you say we head back."

" I always know my first time would be on the beach. I'm just so happy it was you." Katie says, kissing him on the cheek.

Cook gulps in fear.

" Wait a minute." He pauses, looking at her panicked. " That was your first?" she nods.

" You were a virgin?" He asks, shaking his head.

" Mm-hmm. We're gonna be so good together, James. Two fit people like us, we're perfect for each other." She says, hugging him. Cooks face is one of total panic.

* * *

><p>Naomi waited by the bar area for only a few moments before Emily was walking up to her.<p>

" You totally saved me." she smiles, warmly at the blonde.

" Now you know never to doubt me." Naomi jokes.

" Thank you.." Emily smiles, shyly.

She then leans in to hug the blonde but before she can, a women, who's a quite pretty brunette, rushes up to her. Ivy League, rich, works for nobles causes type women. The kind of women Naomi hates.

" Emily, you were awesome! " she kisses Emily, leaving Naomi dumbstruck.

Emily pulls away from the kiss, looking at Naomi.

" Naomi, this is my girlfriend, Claire." Emily introduces, staring at the blonde intently.

Naomi shakes Claire's hands.

" Nice to meet you. " Naomi says, half heartedly.

"Nice to me you too." Claire says, looking back a Emily. " Listen we have to go meet the Reynolds?" She says, before Emily can even respond, Claire is dragging her away.

Emily turn to Naomi quickly.

" It was nice meeting you." She smiles, and then whispers. " Thank you. " She waves goodbye.

Naomi nods, waving back, defeated. She takes a big slug of her drink, Cook rushes up to her.

" Babes, we've got to get out of here. ASAP. I've got a stage five clinger." He states, panicky, looking around.

" I need more time." Naomi says, softly. Looking at Emily as she hugs a little girl sweetly as Claire talks to some people.

" You're not hearing me. She's a stage five! A virgin clinger! I'll start the car." He says, looking at Naomi.

Naomi is still looking at Emily and Claire. Cook notices.

" Give it up already. Her sister told me she has a girlfriend. Tough luck. We all have our bad days. I need us to leave right now!" He says, getting irritated by Naomi lack of movement.

Secretary Fitch approaches with Katie and his wife Jenna.

" There you two are." Rob says, looking between the two.

" Actually... we're about to leave, It's been a lovely wedding." He turns to Katie." I'll call you. It's a promise." He lies.

Rob ignores him all together.

" Well, look, we always hate to see the wedding end so we keep the party going back at our little place on the Vineyard. It's sort of a Fitch family tradition. And, well, since we've all taken a shine to you, we'd love you to be our guests for the weekend. What do you say?" He looks over at Naomi.

Katie smiles hopefully, Jenna seem disinterested. Emily and Claire approach the group. Naomi looks at Emily.

" We'd love to." She smiles.

" What?!" Cook panics. " We don't have any other clothes!" He tries.

" Oh, we have everything you need out on the island." Rob cuts in, helpfully.

" But I promised our gran I'd take her to the park." Cook said, grasping at straws.

" And I'm sure daddy can hire somebody to take your granny to the parks." Katie smirked.

" Not a problem." Rob says.

" Great! Done." Naomi shouts, happily.

Naomi smiles. Cook starts to say something but Naomi steps on his foot to shut him up. Rob slaps Naomi on the back.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Enjoy! Thank you to those reading and commenting!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Skins...**

* * *

><p>Naomi, Cook and about fifteen others are on the Fitches yacht, a large expanse boat, sailing towards Martha's Vineyard. Naomi and Cook are standing at the stern of the boat, looking out to the ocean. Katie approaches them.<p>

" James, sweetie, I'm making lemonade. Interested?" She smiles, sweetly.

" Sure, sure." He nods. " That'd be great, honey." He smiles back, tightly.

She winks, going off to make him a drink. Cook turns to Naomi.

" Nai, this is against the rules! You've got a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime!" He informs her, crossed. Naomi rolls her eyes.

" Oh really? No overtime? Need I remind you of the Chung wedding, 2008?" Naomi asks, smugly.

" All right, look..." Cook starts, but the blonde cuts him off.

" We finished the reception. I'm ready to go home. Next thing you know, you're dragging me to watch you and some bird play mah-jongg with her grandmother thirty miles away at a retirement home." Naomi chuckles at the memory, even though at the time she was anything but amused.

" I needed to do that, alright?" He states, looking down.

" You needed to do that... Ha." She repeats, feigning laughter.

" She was into her grandma! You know the drill!" Cook says, getting worked up.

Naomi scoffs.

" It was my first Asian!" He admits, a little bit too loudly.

The people on the boat turn around and look at Cook. Naomi shoots him a look.

" Look, I just need some alone time with her." She sigh.

" She's got a girlfriend." Cook informs, unhelpfully.

" They all have girlfriends. So what?" She asks, getting irritated. Most of the girls she ever been with haven't been single. It's just a bit of a challenge is all.

" Okay. Fine. Get some alone time, seal the deal and let's get the fuck away from these people." He says, looking around.

Claire walks over to them. " Guys. Everything okay?" She asks, kindly.

"Oh yeah. Fine." Naomi feigns cheer.

Claire looks overboard. " Oh wow, will you check that out. A school of bluefish."

Naomi and Cook lean over to take a look.

" You know, these waters use to be flush with bluefish. And then the corporate polluters came in and well, you can guess the rest. After we, and I mean the National Environmental Defense League under my stewardship, got Massachusetts to pass the Bluefish Revival Act..." Claire says, trying to impress them.

" Bluefish Revival Act? They were at Woodstock, right?" Naomi asks.

Claire laughs insincerely. Rob Fitch ambles over, cocktail in hand, and quickly looks overboard.

" My god! Are those bluefish?" He looks back at them. " You know, Claire here is single-handedly responsible for the spurt in the bluefish population." Rob smiles.

Cook is about to crack a wide-ass comment but Naomi elbows him before he has the chance to speak.

" Yes we heard." Naomi smiles, tightly.

" Well, anyway, listen, as soon as we get to the compound we were thinking about a little touch rugby game. Sort of a Fitch family tradition. What do you say?" He asks them, kindly.

" Absolutely." Naomi smiles.

" Great." Cook adds.

" Good!" Rob claps his hand together, walking away.

* * *

><p>Naomi and Cook can see the Fitch family compound on Martha's Vineyard as the yacht reaches the shore. It's huge, old beachfront mansion with a large lawn and adirondack chairs strewn about. There's also a dock, housing various sailboats.<p>

Cook turns to Naomi as she looks at the place in awe.

" That's the " little place back on the Vineyard?" Cook quotes Robs earlier words.

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon on the Fitches family compound, Naomi and Cook come out the front door, wearing clothes they borrow from the family. Each of them looking like they just walked of a golf tournament with all the plaid.<p>

" I'm not even going to say it." Cook turns to Naomi." But you know I'm upset." He says, calmly.

" I know you are." Naomi says softly, understanding." I think you look good." Naomi says, looking down at his clothes.

Cook begins to walk down the stairs, only turning back to say.

" You know I don't look good." Then continuing down the stairs.

* * *

><p>Naomi and Cook line up in a scrimmage with other guest including Emily, Rob, and Claire. James, Emily's younger brother sits in a lawnchair on the sidelines reading.<p>

Naomi hikes the ball to Cook and goes out for a pass. She's being cover by Claire. Naomi fakes like she's doing an " Out " pattern but goes long. Claire is completely fooled. Naomi catches the pass from Cook for a touchdown. Naomi is congratulated by her teammate. Claire fumes.

A few minutes later Naomi hikes the ball to Cook. Claire rushes in, aiming for Naomi. She misses her and completely flattens Cook who manages to get the pass off.

Naomi racing downfield. She reaches out to catch the pass, however Emily intercepts. She does a little pivot dance to get around Naomi. The blonde mimics her wildly, causing Emily to laugh, Naomi takes the opportunity to touch/tag her.

" Not fair! You made me laugh!" The redhead says, feigning being upset.

" No, it's not fair. Yet a lot of things in life aren't fair." She says, mimicking her again, Emily laughs and then looks upfield.

" Hey, is your brother okay? " She asks, seeing Cook lying on the floor.

A few people are dragging Cook's seemingly lifeless body off the field. Naomi runs over.

" I don't know what got into me." Claire says, standing over him.

"I do! Five generations of Lodge family breeding. Hell, your father used to pull the same stunt when we were your age." Rob says, proudly.

Claire and Rob share a laugh. Naomi rushes over to Cook.

" Are you all right? " Naomi asks, worried.

" Oh he's fine!" Rob waves his hand. " Hey, James, why don't you sit out the next play." He looks over at his son." James, come on in." He yells.

James looks up from his book.

" You must be joking." he says.

" It wouldn't kill you to play some competitive sports once in a while, would it?" He asks his son.

James scoffs, rolling his eyes, putting his head back into his book.

" It's okay, it's okay." Cook says, grabbing his side." Perhaps he can donate a kidney instead." he says, only half seriously.

Katie rushes over, hyper-concerned. She leans over him and sticks her tongue into his mouth. Cook jumps up to get away from her.

" Good, good. I'm better now." He says, creating more and more space from Katie. " Second down." He claps his hand.

A minute later, different scrimmage. Naomi is the quarterback. Cook hikes it to her as Claire comes in to rush. Naomi whips the ball quickly to Cook as Emily runs up to tag Naomi. Cook gets pummeled and flattened by Claire again.

" I got you!" Emily says to Naomi.

" No you didn't!" The blonde defends. Emily gasps.

" You're cheating!" She accuses, smiling at Naomi.

" You're cheating!" Naomi throws back, feigning offence. Emily looks over Naomi shoulder.

" Oh my God, your brother, he's down again." The redheads says, eyes wide.

Naomi turns and sighs in disbelief, Cook having yet again ruined a moment between her and Emily.

" What is his deal." She muttered, annoyed, walking over to him.

" I don't know what's gotten into me today, guys" Claire says, smiling.

" Nature versus nurture, Lodge. Nature always wins." Rob states, impressed.

They share another overly-exaggerated chortle.

" What are you doing?" Naomi says as she leans down to Cook." It's a game of touch, every time I look over, your on your arse." She says, narrowing her eyes.

" If I had any air in my lungs, I'd scream at you." Cook said, straining to speak.

" Oh, so now you're blaming me?" She ask, in disbelief. " Because you're not athletic enough to stand on your own two feet." She scoffs at him.

" I hate you." He says, in pain.

" Let take a daiquiri time-out." Rob announces.

Katie and Jenna come rushing to Cooks side again, kneeling down to him.

" Honey, take him in the house and get him fixed up." Jenna says to her daughter.

" Sure, mum." Katie happily agrees.

" Oh, don't baby him, it just makes it worst." Naomi says, as Katie and Jenna help him to his feet. She looks up to see Claire putting her arm around Emily's shoulder walking back towards the house. " Oh great, games over. Satisfied?" She huffs, as she watches Cook get carried away.

* * *

><p>Cook is sitting on the edge of the tub in serious pain as Katie applies mercurochrome to his wound.<p>

" Ah man! That stings!" He says, as soon as the tissue touches his wound.

" Ohhh, poor baby." Katie pouts. " Want me to blow...on it?" She smirks.

" It's fine." Cook looks down at the cut.

She get's up on his lap, Randolph, the early 40's Jamaican butler passes by the open bathroom door. They don't see him.

" You know, I'm not wearing any knickers." Katie says, flirtatiously.

Randolph's coughs to gain their attention. They look up. Katie jumps off Cook's lap.

"Oh, don't you worry, little Katie. Mum's the word." He says, in a thick Jamaican accent.

" Thank you, Randolph." She smiles.

" A little more discreet though, okay?" He says, shutting the door and shaking his head, before walking away.

" Oh Jesus..." Cook says, softly.

" Don't worry. He won't say anything. Now where were we?" She asks, as she straddles him again. " Oh right, I'm not wearing any knickers." She continues.

" It's like eight hours ago you were a virgin. Now you're not wearing any fucking knickers." He says, in disbelief.

" You do that to me." She purrs, reaching inside his pants.

He pushes her off him a little so he can speak.

" Katie, look.. I'm tired. It's been a long day. Not to mention that your sister's girlfriend made a smoothie with my nards. I'm not exactly in the mood." He says, pleading with her to back off.

" Fine." Katie huffs, pissed off.

She takes a swab of mercurochrome and stabs his wound with it.

" Aaaaaaaargh." He cries out.

" My father warned me about people like you! I'm just another notch on your belt!" She states, angrily.

" No, no, it's not like that!" Cook defends, scared of the girl as she dabs harder and harder on his cut.

" What's it like then, James?!" She asks, in hysteric's. " Huh?! Huh?!.

" It's like..." He starts, coming up blank.

She takes another load of medicine and tortures another wound.

"Aaaaaaaaarrrrrgh!" He screams." Ok, ok. It's like you're, uh, so damn precious that I would...uh...feel like...uh...I'm using you if we took every opportunity to express what we have...In a physical way. It diminishes the poetry of this thing... that we have." He says, nervously, not knowing if it's working to calm her down.

She melts into his arms.

" You're my knight in shining armor." She says, nuzzling into his neck.

" Cool. Good. Good." He says, relieved.

" Don't ever leave me." She says, softly.

" Oh no. Never. Don't you worry..." he trails off, looking around the room.

" Good." After a beat." Because I'd find you." She says, flatly.

They get up. Cook's terrified and stressing. They exit on in to the hallway passing Rob.

" Get him all patched up, love?" He asks Katie.

" I sure did, daddy." She smiles, widely.

" Well good, you go change for dinner." he says to Katie.

She gives Cook a peck on the cheek and walks away, leaving Cook and Rob alone.

" You really seem to make her happy, son." Rob states, looking at his retreating daughter.

" Oh well...yeah." Cook doesn't really know what to say to that.

" Well, she's my little girl and I spoil her a bit... I can only hope you treat her honorably. You know, she's not just another notch on the ol' belt." Rob says, smiling manicly.

" Oh no, no. Of course not, sir." Cook assures.

" Good, good. Because that would make me angry in ways you cannot possibly imagine." Rob loses his smile. " And I'm a very powerful man." He finishes staring Cook right in the eyes. Cook gulp.

" Right...yes, sir." he shifts, nervously.

" Well, see you downstairs for dinner." Rob smiles, walking away leaving Cook horrified.

* * *

><p>Later on they're in the Fitches family dining room. An opulent dinner for fifteen is in the process of being served. Rob is at the head of the table. His mother, Grandma Mary, a woman who looks nearly 100, sits next to him. The rest of the family, Claire, and the other guest fill out the table. Randolph, the Jamaican butler, standing nearby.<p>

Naomi and Cook enter the alcove just outside the dining room. Naomi looks at Claire, who's holding court, she's is nauseated by the sight.

" Cookie, you have the eye drops?" She turns to Cook, hand out.

" No! Not the visine, it's too early!" Cook shakes his head.

" I need it, fucksakes. Give it to me." She says, irritated.

" You know the rules." Cook starts. " The visine is a last resort. The visine's a fucking felony." He finishes, she sighs.

" I can't get any alone time with her. That women won't leave her side. I need it." She request again.

" It's too fucking hard-core. A few drops in her drink and she'll spend the next twenty-four hours going down on a toilet seat, puking her guts out." Cook informs.

They both look over at Claire.

"...So when I picked up the little sea otter and wiped the oil off him from the tanker spill, I swear he...smiled. It was a little...otter smile. You know, all teeth, the whiskers kind of pert..." Claire telling a noble story about one of her rescues, while the room eats it up.

Cook reaches into his pocket.

" Okay, here's the visine." Cook hands it over, realizing she's going to need it.

Naomi and Cook enter the dining room, Emily looks up and smiles warmly at Naomi.

" Here they are!" Rob annonces.

They sit down near the head of the table. Katie has saved a seat for Cook right next to her.

"Heavenly Father.." The priest from the wedding begins to say grace. Everyone bows their head. Naomi quickly squirts the visine into Claire's wine.

" We thank you for the bounty on this table and ask you bless our family and friends here assembled. In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit. Amen." the priest finishes.

They all make the sign of the cross. Cook is preoccupied doesn't, until Naomi nudges him. Randolph walks over with a platter and sets it on the table.

" Oh, these scallops look fantastic." Rob says, looking down on his plate.

" I bought them from an organic scallop farm right off the coast of Nauggesett." Claire informs the table.

" Yeah, Claire talked the Governor into subsidizing part of the project." Emily says, proudly.

"Yep. Now, it's the state's only self-sustaining scallop farm." Claire explains.

" Say that five times fast." Naomi jokes.

Emily laughs, then stops herself, but continues to smile at Naomi sweetly.

" I bet they're tasty. Maybe I'll try them when my jaws heal, from the football game earlier." Cook says, to the group but pointedly to Claire.

" Again, I'm sorry James. It's that damn competitive streak. I'm seeing a Buddhist about it." Claire says, looking around the table.

" Oh, not just any Buddhist. His Holiness the Dalai Lama. He's a friend." Rob informs the group. Jenna rolls her eyes.

" Really? Because when I get back in town, I'm going to be seeing an orthopedist. Not just any orthopedist. Dr Epstein... " Cook starts, smartly.

" Enough, okay? " She says to Cook, cutting him off. Then she turns to Claire. " He's just fooling around. So how long have you and Emily been together, Claire?" She asks, curiously.

" What's it been, Honey?" Claire turns to Emily." A couple of years?" She smiles.

" Three and a half." Emily informs, then turns to Naomi." We started dating while doing Habitat for Humanity." She says. Claire smiles.

" Sure." Naomi nods, taking a sip of her wine.

"Pretty soon we'll be getting married." Claire says, looking over at Rob, who smiles.

Naomi notices Emily looking down, playing with her food, she looks back up with a fake smile.

" Well not too soon." Emily laughs, unconformably." We still have a lot of thing we wanna accomplish. " She says, looking into Naomi's eyes, losing her smile.

" Anyway, once Emily and Claire tie the knot, two of the great British family's, The Fitches and the Lodge's, will finally united." Rob says, proudly.

Naomi notices once again that Emily doesn't look happy, a contrast to Claire who's smiling widely.

" And then of course you can challenge the cling-ons in stellar domination, right?" Naomi jokes, looking around the table.

The only person who does laughs is Emily, looking right at Naomi with beaming smile afterwards.

" Anyway, Naomi, tell me how you guys are connected to the family again?" Claire says, seemingly out of nowhere.

" Uncle Ned's kids." Naomi answer, confidently.

Claire narrows her eyes , in thought.

" You know, Uncle Ned? The brother of Aunt Liz?" Cook jumps in.

Naomi and Cook bow their heads and make the sign of the cross.

" Uh-huh..." Claire says, suspicious.

Katie reaches her hand under the table and grabs Cook's crotch, his eyes bug out. He tries to push her arm away, as her arms hidden by the tablecloth, she begins to furiously masturbate Cook.

" So, Naomi and her brother here are venture capitalist." Rob changes the subject.

" That's right!" Cook squeaks.

Naomi looks at him strangely, then looks down. She sees what's happening and give Cook a shocked look.

" That's great. The venture capitalist. The backbone of the system. The new pioneer." Rob states, happily.

Emily looks up at Naomi with an unreadable expression on her face.

" So is it just about the money? " She asks the blonde.

" Oh...no, no! Not at all. It's about, you know, investing in projects that are both ethically and morally defensible." Naomi says.

" Like what, for example?" Claire asks.

" Like what? Oh , you know, we've got company that, uh, takes the wool from sheep and uh, and turns it into thread or the homeless people to sew...into cloths and then make, you know shirts and pants to sell at a profit." Naomi says, making it up as she goes along. " Everyone wins." She finishes, unsure.

" People helping people." Cook adds, softly, gripping on to the table as Katie continues to rub.

" That's very admirable." Emily nod, smiling at Naomi.

" Thank you." Naomi says, smiling back. " Although, don't make me out to be a saint just yet, we do turn a small profit." She looks around the table." After all someone has to pay for the lap dances for the big guy." She pats Cook on the shoulder, amused at what going on under the table.

Everyone laughs, include Cook, his not being all that sincere.

" She's joking, ha ha." Shutting his eyes." It feels so good when she jokes." he grips the table harder.

"What's this company called." Claire asks, leaning forward.

Cook is near his climax.

" Holy sh..." he starts

" Holy Shirts and Pants." Naomi cut him off.

The group nods approvingly.

" That's a hell of a good project. Let me mention something to the Commerce secretary." Rob smiles.

Claire gives him a strange look while taking a sip of her wine, feeling threatened by the pair.

" Great, great." Naomi smiles.

" Isn't my Robbie doing a wonderful job as Secretary ?" Grandma Mary asks Naomi.

" Oh yes, ma'am." Naomi says, smiling.

" Oh mum..." Rob says, blushing.

Cook takes a sip of water being spent after Katie's little stunt.

" You know, Robbie's predecessor was a jew." Granny says.

Cook sips out his water.

" Mum, let's not go there. Saul Rothstein was a good man." Rob puts his hand on his mother's arm.

" Maybe so, for a jew." She says.

" Grandma, you can't talk that way. You can't feel that way. It's not right!." Emily says, softly to her grandma.

" Mum's a little old- fashioned." Rob says, to the table.

" Yeah. Like Hitler. " Cook says to Naomi.

Claire's stomach grumbles as she starts to feel a bit ill.

" What did you say his name was again, Robbie? Hymie Bergstein? I always forget his name. But my god, did he have a nose on him." Grandma Mary says.

Cook's aghast. It's likes he's eating with the Gestapo.

"Grandma!." Emily gasps.

Claire turns to Emily, looking a little green.

" You know, I think I'm gonna go to bed." She says, getting up.

" Are you okay?" The redhead asks Claire.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a bit tired." Claire assures, kissing Emily on the forehead as she stands.

" Okay." Emily says.

" You alright?" Rob asks, concerned.

" Yeah, yeah, course." She smiles.

Claire walks out of the room quickly.

" I hope she's okay." Rob says, once she's left the room.

" Well, there's a lot of flu going around." Naomi says.

" But her eyes are sure clear." Cook adds, smartly.

Naomi elbows him, then passes a platter to Todd.

" Oh, I don't eat meat or fish." He states.

" He's an idiot." Grandma Mary says, meanly.

" Grandma!" Emily yells.

" What? He can't help it. They say it's genetic." Indicating Jenna. " From her side of the family."

James head sinks, Naomi gives him a sympathetic pat on the arm. James looks at the blonde lovingly, smiling softly.

" Actually, James is an amazing painter. He's going to the Rhode Island School of design." Emily says, proudly, defending her little brother.

" Wow, that's very impressive." Naomi smiles at James.

James blushes at her praise.

" Still an idiot." Grandma Mary's says.

" Oh for heaven sake, Rob put her to bed already." Jenna states, fed up.

Rob motions over to Randolph, who helps grandma Mary up.

" I can do it myself, arsehole." She shakes him off.

James pissed off, storms out of the room, Grandma Mary leaves soon after. Emily stands, clearly upset.

" You know, I think I'm going to get some air." Emily says, looking over at Naomi.

" Oh, I'll get some air if you want some company?" Naomi asks.

" Sure." Emily says, softly, smiling shyly at the blonde.

" Alright let me just change my shoes." Naomi says, leaving the room.

" Okay, I'll be waiting outside." She smiles.

* * *

><p>Naomi's just finishing tying up her shoes in the guest bedroom, when she hears the door open, Jenna entering.<p>

" Mrs Fitch, what are you.." Naomi starts but Jenna cuts her off.

" I know what you're doing." Jenna says, eyeing Naomi.

" Sorry?" Naomi says a bit panicked not sure what she is referring to.

" You have a thing for my daughter, it's plain to see." She states, matter a factly.

" No, I don-" the blonde is cut off once again.

" Respect me enough not to lie to me, Naomi." Jenna says.

Naomi keeps her mouth shut, proving Jenna's theory to be right.

" Listen Naomi, you seem like a nice girl and all, but what you must understand is that Claire is much better suited for Emily, like Rob said earlier, Fitches and Lodges together, it just makes sense." Jenna explains.

" I saw Emily's face when marriage between them was mentioned, she didn't seem all that happy about it." Naomi says, remembering back.

" That's beside the point." Jenna says, waving her hand dismissively. " Emily will do what's right for the family." She finishes looking at Naomi challengingly.

" And you don't care that she's unhappy." Naomi says, in disbelief, that her own mother would choose family standing over her own daughter's happiness.

" Just stay away from her, Naomi. I don't want you putting thoughts in her head." She finishes, exiting out of the room in a huff.

Naomi sat there for a moment longer, shaking her head, then remembers Emily is waiting for her and goes to meet her.

In the hall Naomi runs in the Cook, who's looking completely spent.

" What's wrong?" Cook asks Naomi.

" Nothing. I'm just trying to get outside to meet Emily." She responds.

" You've got a weird look on your face." Cook notices.

" Emily's mum just cornered me in my room, and told me to stay away from her daughter." Naomi says softly.

" Maybe you should." Cook says, seriously.

Naomi stares at him for a good while.

" What's wrong with you?" She asks.

" I just think all this is not worth it, I mean this Katie bird is a fucking lunatic." Cook says, in a harsh whisper. " I mean, you saw what she did, who the fuck does that?" Cook asks. " I wanna get as far away from her as I can, and because you wanna give it to the redhead so much, I'm stuck fending this chick off." Cook finishes.

" Shut up!" Naomi says, walking away.

" You go enjoy yourself, I'm just gonna go spit up some blood and ice down my balls." He spits, walking up the steps.

* * *

><p>Naomi steps outside to meet Emily who's waiting for her.<p>

" Hey, what took you so long?" She smiles, sweetly.

" I'm sorry I just...I was just.." Naomi trails off.

" Are you okay?" Emily asks, concerned.

" I'm fine, I just got... held up." Naomi smiles, half heartedly, looking into the distance.

" My family's a little strange, huh? " Emily says.

" A little, yeah." Naomi chuckles. " But you know what?" She asks, Emily turns to face her and smiles.

" What?" She asks.

" I love it!" Naomi says, goofily.

Emily laughs, beaming.

" You do?" she asks, happily surprised.

" I do." Naomi confirms, smiling.

Emily smile slowly fades as she stares into Naomi's eyes, she feels like she's drowning in the icy blues of them. She feels drawn to them somehow she can't explain, she never wants to look away. All too soon though the moment is broken when her father comes through the door.

" Emsy, love?" Rob calls out, walking outside.

" Yes?" Emily says, softly, pulling her eyes away from Naomi's reluctantly.

" Have you check on Claire, I think she pretty sick." He informs her.

" Oh really?" Emily asks, surprised. " Alright, yeah, I'll be right in." She tells her father, as he goes back into the house.

Emily turns back to Naomi with a frown, the blondes disappointed at the turn of events, unaware that the redhead is just as upset.

" I should go check on her.." She smiles sadly at the blonde.

" Yeah, course." Naomi says, half heartedly. " We'll take a walk some other time." She says, a little more upbeat.

Emily get's up and starts walking towards the door.

" Emily?" Naomi call after her just before she reaches the door.

Emily turns around, a hopeful look in her eyes. Naomi chickens out.

" Oh...I'll a...I'll talk to you later..." She says, can't help but notice Emily looks disappointed.

" Okay." Emily smiles, half heartedly, walking inside.

Naomi sighs, turning to look out into the distance again.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N : Hope you like this one! Thank you for those who are reading and commenting.. :)**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Skins...**

* * *

><p>A short while after Emily has disappeared into the house to check on Claire, Rob pokes his head out the door, where Naomi is still sitting on the steps looking up at the stars wondering how she got herself in to such a mess.<p>

" Naomi, care to have a drink with me in the den?" He asks, kindly.

" Yeah, sure. I'll be right in." She says, sighing one last time.

* * *

><p>The night comes and everyone has gone off to their own bedrooms. Cook's laying in bed tossing and turning being sore from all the days activities. In Naomi's bedroom, she is laying in bed, eyes open, wide awake. Claire is laying on the bathroom floor, she pops up to retch every now and again. Emily is laying in bed, and like Naomi, she's wide awake.<p>

Cook falls into a peaceful sleep eventually, but is soon awaken with a jolt as he feels two legs straddle him.

" Oi!" He says, seeing Katie above him.

Katie is just finishing tying Cook's right arm to the bed post. He struggles to get free.

" What the fuck is going on." He says, panicky, pulling on the ropes.

" Shh, you'll wake my dad." Katie whispers, giggling. " Listen, I know what you were saying before and I started thinking that maybe I'm not being exciting and adventurous enough for you." She says, passionately.

" Katie, I'm pretty sure that is not what I've been saying to you." He says, continuing to resist the restraints.

" Shhs, baby, you'll wake everybody." She whispers, leaning down. " I'm going to make all your fantasies come true.

" But this isn't a fantas.." Cook tries, but Katie stuffs a sock into his mouth to shut him up, she then puts duct tape over the sock as he muffles loudly.

" You'll love this." She says, smirking, as Cook screams uselessly.

* * *

><p>While all this is happening, Naomi is walking down the hallway having the need to see Emily, and in a moment of impulsive, went to do just that. She comes to Emily's door and listens to see if she's awake.<p>

Emily is laying in bed wide awake, thinking about Naomi , though since the blonde doesn't hear anything she sighs and walks away, assuming the redhead is fast asleep.

A moment later Emily gets up walking to her door, she peeks out her bedroom to see an empty hall, she starts tippy toeing down the hall towards Naomi's bedroom, turns back around when she has a moment of doubt, but then turns around again when her confidences returns. She gets to the door and puts her ear to it listening for the blonde. Inside Naomi is staring out her window longingly.

Not hearing any movement inside, Emily leans her forehead against door, sighing and then reluctantly walks away, upset.

Neither of them realizing how desperately the other wants to see each other.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Naomi is at the breakfast table, eating some bacon, reading the newspaper, drinking coffee in a gargantuan kitchen. Cook stumbles in, exhausted. A Chef is making all kinds of breakfast things. He pours Cook some coffee and leaves. Naomi looks up from the paper.<p>

" Hey, there he is!" She exclaims, cheerily. " Wait till you see this spread, anything you want, mate." She says happily, knowing how much Cook loves his food.

" Yeah well, get what you want to go, the fairy leaves in 25 minutes, we gotta get going." Cook informs, looking down at his watch. Naomi narrows her eyes.

" Woah, what's your problem." She says, looking down at all the wonderful food," Have some of this stuff.

" I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, Naoms, I'm knackered." He sighs, looking a bit worse for wear.

" Soft mattress?" Naomi asks, looking down at her paper.

"Yeah that could've been it." Cook nods, " Or it could've been the midnight rape." he finishes, looking at Naomi.

" Try one of these scones, you're going to love'em." Naomi holds out a stone for Cook to take.

" I'm a little too traumatized to have a scone." Cook points out," Let's move." He gestures to the door.

" Will you slow down for a second." Naomi requests," The whole eye drop thing backfired. It didn't work, she had to leave me and go attend to her." She explains, calmly.

Cook gives Naomi a strange look.

" Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze.

" You're falling for this bird." He says, surprised.

" What? No!" Naomi shakes her head, like it's the most ridiculous thing she has ever heard. " I just met her, fucksake."

" Exactly." Cook throws his hands up, in disbelief. " I'm gonna go."

" You can't go." Naomi says.

" Watch me." Cook smanks his bum.

" Look if you leave, Katie is going to freak out and throw a shit fit." Naomi says, panicked. " It'll go into crisis lockdown mode in this house."

" I don't give a flying fuck, Nai," He yells, " I just had my own bloody sock duct taped into my mouth last night!"

" Wait, what?" Naomi asks, confused.

" Yea, the sock that I wore around all day, playing rugby, pouring sweat in, was shoved into my mouth and duct taped over!" He screams, getting worked up.

" Well, let's talk about it, Cookie." Naomi says, trying to calm him down. " I'm a good listener."

" I don't wanna talk about it here, I wanna leave." Cook says, tiredly. " I'm gonna go home, see Dr Rosenberg, and I'm going to tell him we got a whole new bag of issues, we can forget about Mum for a while... I'm gonna go" He begins to walk away.

" Suit yourself." Naomi starts," Rule number one." Cook stops in his tracks, Naomi knows she's got him and continues " Rule. Number. One; Never leave a fellow crasher behind."

Cook finally turns around.

" I can't believe how selfish you're being." Cook shakes his head.

" I need you." She admits.

Cook sighs, walking over to the buffet of food, picking up a plate. Naomi shakes the syrup at him, smiling.

" I'll stick it out with you." Cook says, piling food onto his plate." because you're desperate."

" I need the Cookie Monster." Naomi smiles fondly at him.

" If you want my help you need to listen." he begins, adding even more food on his already full plate. " Number one; Stop being a pussy, Number two; Make a move, Number three; you know it." he looks knowingly at Naomi, she nods. " Could you pop the syrup for me?" He asks, holding out his plate.

She opens the syrup and hands it to him smirking.

" Here's what going to happen, I'm gonna chose not to eat with you." Cook starts.

" We're not going to eat together?" Naomi asks, smirking.

" No, I'd like to recharge my batteries, and shut down the engines, and get myself back to neutral." He informs, " When the meals over with, I will talk to you, I don't wanna get into what happen last night because it's only gonna make me mad. Let's get through today, keep our eyes on the prize, let's focus, and lets get some ass." He winks.

" Noted." Naomi smiles.

Cook goes off to sit at the counter, just a little bit away from Naomi. She's smiling as she watches him.

" Can I tell you something without you getting angry?" She asks.

Cook turns his head, just a little for her to continue, as his mouth is full with food.

" I love you." Naomi says softly. Cook turns around than.

" I love you too." He says mouth still full of food.

They continue eating.

* * *

><p>Upstairs Claire is sitting on her bed in a bathrobe, after one of the worst nights of her life. She makes a phone call to a friend.<p>

" _Hello?" _The women on the end of the phone answers_._

"Gloria, it's Claire." She forces cheer.

" _Claire bear! What's the word? How was the wedding?_" Gloria asks.

" It was great. Fine. Whatever." She says, flatly. " Listen, I need a background on two people the Secretary invited out here for the weekend. Naomi and James Ryan."

Gloria writes the names down.

" _Alright, Naomi and James Ryan. Got it_."

" They're brother and sister. A couple of venture capital weasels from London. Got some kind of NPO called holy Shirts and Pants." Claire says.

" _Oh...Venture capitalist, they're the worst._"

" Tell my girlfriend's father. He practically shot his cabinet level wad over these two." Claire sighs.

" _It's all about the money with people like that. Sick, sick, sick._"

" Preaching to the choir, sister." Claire says. " I've gotta go. What's say we get the gang together and hang out later this week?"

" _Sounds ace, see ya later!_" Gloria hangs up.

* * *

><p>Later that same morning, on the Fitches family dock, Naomi and Cook walk to the family sailboat. On the side of the boat is painted " Woodwind " Rob, Jenna, Katie, Emily, and a few other guests are on the boat already. Sec. Fitch is at the helm, preparing to sail.<p>

" Where's Claire?" Rob asks.

" I don't know... " Emily shrugs.

" Poor girl's probably still not feeling well. That flu usually last about two days." Naomi informs.

" Well, then, we'll have to sail without her." Rob states.

They take off, Rob is sailing the boat at the helm, Jenna is sitting somewhere near him drinking wine, James is doodling something off to the side. Cook is looking out into the ocean, with Katie's arms around him tightly. Emily is sitting leaning up against one of the sails, watching Naomi, who's at the front of the boat by herself, enjoying the wind in her hair and the view of the ocean.

" Naomi, do me a favor, ease the sheet, swing the jib!" Rob uses sailing terms Naomi doesn't understand, but she's claimed to be a sailor, so she must do something.

" Okay, um.." She starts pushing at a random pole, trying to get it to budge, which it doesn't.

Emily watches her, smiling, amused at Naomi's lack of knowledge on sailing. She lets out a giggle, then gets up to help the blonde as she struggles.

" Hi." Emily says

" Hey." Naomi says back.

" How's it going?" The redhead smiles.

" Oh just swinging the jib here for your dad, starboard trying to get it to crease the sheet." At this point Naomi doesn't even know what she's saying.

" But starboards this way." The redhead smirks, pointing to the opposite side of the boat.

" Oh yeah, I knew that, what was I thinking?" She laughs, embarrassed. Emily just smiles at her sweetly.

" Let me help you." She cuts the blonde some slack.

" Okay." Naomi smiles, thankfully.

Emily pulls on a rope, whichs gets the big pole with the sheet on it to start moving to which she reaches up to guide it, making her shirt rise up showing Naomi her toned stomach. Naomi feels it right in her core, as she licks her lips. Emily giggles.

" Alright, push it this way." She instructs the blonde, Naomi pulls her eyes away, following orders.

" Here we go!" Naomi says happily.

" Done." Emily smiles, wiping her hands on her pants.

Naomi takes a deep breath and sits down, Emily takes a seat next to her. The redhead looks over at Naomi, sees her looking out into the ocean, can't help but notice how beautiful she is, Emily's been thinking that a lot lately when looking at Naomi, which admittedly she's been doing a lot as well. Naomi feels the redheads eyes on her and turns to face her. Emily - being caught staring- looks down, only coming up to smile shyly at the blonde.

" Being out in the ocean makes you realize how insignificant you really are, huh?" Emily says, breaking the silence that descended over them.

" Yeah, I guess we are." Naomi says, looking back out into the distance.

" No, no. I mean you." The redhead jokes.

" Very funny." The blonde says.

Emily smiles at her.

" Actually, that's why I hate the ocean." Emily states.

" Me too! I hate anything that comes on like it's bigger than me." Naomi jokes playfully, making Emily giggle.

" Exactly. The ocean has an attitude and I don't like it." She says, "" _I'm the ocean. I'm so vast and eternal and you're so small and...not eternal._" She mimics what she thinks the ocean would sound like.

" Which is a very nasty attitude." Naomi adds, smiling,"You know what else has a nasty attitude? The stars."

" I know. They're so rude! And the mountains..." Emily plays along.

" Oh, don't get me started on the mountains." The blonde shakes her head, than smiles.

They share a laugh then look at each for a long while, having a moment. Though it's soon broken when Rob calls out for Naomi.

" Naomi! Come on up here!"He shouts so the blonde can hear. " Man the Woodwind for a while."

Emily looks away blushing realizing how much she wanted to kiss the blonde just than , while Naomi answers the redheads father.

" On my way!" Naomi shouts, standing up.

Before she walks away, she looks down at a still slightly blushing redhead.

" Hey, you're dad was telling me about a great beach near here, maybe we could check it out?" She asks Emily. " If you have any interest when we get back."

Emily looks up, smiling warmly at the blonde, then nods excitedly.

" I'd love that." She's smile.

" Great!" Naomi exclaims," Well okay, it can get confusing down here, so if you have a problem with anything just give me a shout." Naomi jokes, earning a rich laugh from the redhead in return.

"Thank you." Emily says, chuckling

Emily watches Naomi leave.

" What do we got, Captain?" She hears Naomi say to her father.

" Take the wheel!" Her father responds.

Emily stares intensely at Naomi. The redhead is having all these feeling, feelings she never ever experienced before, feelings she definitely shouldn't be having for someone else when they're in a relationship with someone. She looks away hesitantly, hugging her knees to her chest, trying to figure out what this means.

* * *

><p>They pull to the shore a few hours later docking the boat, Naomi follows after Emily, wanting to check up with her on their little trip to the beach.<p>

" So how do you fancy getting to this mystical beach?" Naomi asks.

" We could bike over there, if you'd like." Emily turns to face Naomi, with a shy smile.

" That sounds gre.." Naomi tries, but the cocking of a gun interrupts her thought. They look up to see Claire holding on to a rifle.

" Everything's ready for the Quail hunt!" Claire exclaimed, smiling widely.

" Sorry...The quail hunt?" Naomi asks, confused.

" Yeah, it's a Fitch family tradition." Rob informs the blonde.

" Well, I, uh, think I'll sit this one out, cause we were going to.." Naomi starts, looking over at Emily, Rob cut her off immediately.

" Nonsense, I insist." He put his arm around Naomi shoulder.

" Naomi, you have to go, you're going to love it." Claire adds, a little too happy if you ask Naomi.

" Claire, don't you think you're a little too sick for hunting?" Emily asks.

" Oh no, I'm great, hunny, I'm great!" Claire assures, pumping the rifle to prove her point." I'm going!" She finishes, crazed

Cook raises his eyebrows, thinking Claire's gone a bit mad, Naomi thinking the same, shaking her head a little.

" Okay, you're going than.." Emily say, looking at Naomi sadly. " I guess I'll see you later?" She asks the blonde with a hopeful look in her eyes.

" Wait, you're not going?" Naomi asks, eyes wide.

" Not really my thing, Naoms." Emily freezes when she realize she'd shorten Naomi's name affectionately, more surprise though about how easily it rolled off her tongue, sees Naomi just smile at her, she smiles back shyly.

" Alright, see you later than." Naomi smiles, waving.

Claire grips the rifle tightly, starting to look a little scary.

" Miss Environmental is also a hunter, kinda an interesting combination me thinks ?" Cook says smugly to Claire.

" I hunt quail, James. They're overpopulated on the island. They're decimating the grub worm population. You got a fucking problem with that!" She yells, gripping the rifle even tighter.

" Woah man, relax yeah? I'm only fucking around a bit." Cook says, a little frightened with Claire holding a gun. " Let's go kill some birds, alright?" He says, sarcastically.

* * *

><p>A group of about ten people, including Claire, Rob, Naomi, and Cook walk through the marsh looking for quail. Cook stops and pulls Naomi aside.<p>

" Have you ever shot one of these things before?" Cook asks.

" Oh you bet! The whole seventeen years we've known each other, I've been sneaking out to shoot at small birds." Naomi scoffs." No I've never, I don't even know what the fuck a quail is!"

" I feel fucking ridiculous in all this." Cook says, looking down at his attire "Why do I have to be in camouflage? So the big bad quail doesn't see me?"

" I know." Naomi sighs, " I mean why can't we hunt something cool, like a hawk or an eagle."

" That would be awesome!." Cook says, " Even a gorilla or a rhinoceros." Naomi nods along, " Or a fucking human being." Cook finishes, hitting the blonde in the arm.

Naomi stops nodding, looking up at him.

" That's a bit much." Naomi says, holding the rifle up, aiming unintentionally at Cooks face.

" I mean like.. you're hunting a human right now." He says, pushing the gun away from his face. " I just meant like a clever human being who knows the jungle, ya know. "

" Or like a bad guy.." Naomi suggest, getting into the mood of it.

* * *

><p>They've been walking through the woods for a while now, not running across any quail just yet. Just than, Rob stops and points.<p>

" There. Off to the left." Rob states.

Everyone aims and shoots. Naomi and Cook fumble to get their rifle in shooting position. When it discharges, they're sent flying five feet on their asses.

A little later, they are all still walking through the marsh. Cook is rubbing his shoulder.

" I thought the rifle just fired buckshots." Cook says to Naomi.

" Yeah. That's lead pellets, dumbfuck. It's not a sling-shot." Naomi informs, smirking.

" Oh, thank you" Cook says.

Claire stops and points.

" There. Over by the spruce tree.

As everyone turns, Claire sets her sights on Naomi. Claires aims right at the blondes arse. Everyone fires. Cook discharges his rifle, sending him reeling again. This time into Naomi. Claire shoots her rifle, but instead of hitting Naomi, she hit Cook. Cook hits the ground grabbing his ass.

" They got me!" He screams " They got me!

" Oh shit." Claire laughs.

" Oh shit." Naomi's eyes widen.

* * *

><p>Later on, Cook is in the Fitches family bathroom. Katie is pulling out the buckshots with tweezers. Naomi and Emily poke their heads into the bathroom.<p>

" You okay, buddy?" Naomi asks.

" Just fucking great! " Cook says, sarcastically.

" He's never been a silent sufferer." She tells Emily, turning back to Cook. " We're gonna take the bikes out for a ride. We'll catch you later."

" Oh yeah sure. You kids go and have a good time." Cook starts getting worked up." I'll just be here getting lead pellets pulled out me heine!" He shouts at their retreating forms.

With Naomi and Emily gone, Katie starts groping Cook, then looks disappointed.

" Aww. Mr. Pogo isn't jumping..." She pouts.

" Well, sorry, Mr. Pogo gets stressed when Mr. James is bleeding to death, okay?" he asks, angrily.

* * *

><p>Naomi and Emily are riding bikes on a path near the shore, their laughing and having fun. Smiling at each other every now and again. Naomi starts to worry for Emily safety as she sees the redhead's bike wobbling like crazy, but Emily's able to remain on the bike for their entire journey.<p>

* * *

><p>Back at the Fiches mansion, Claire pops into the living room. Randolph is sitting on the couch watching TV.<p>

" Hey Randolph?" Claire calls.

" Ssh. I watching my stories, mon." Randolph says, eyes glued to the telly.

" I just need to know where Emily is?" Claire asks.

" Uh... She and that blonde girl went for a bike ride to the tidepools." He informs.

Claire's jaw clenches.

* * *

><p>Later at the Martha's Vineyard, Naomi and Emily stop their bikes at the edge of a tide pool. They're walking down the beach when Emily breaks the silence.<p>

" So, you're a venture capitalist. What does that mean?" She asks.

" It's really not that interesting..." Naomi trails off.

" You don't sound very enthused." Emily comments softly.

" Well, you know things start happening, you go down a road, and you think it's just for a little while, then you get caught up in it.. You don't even have time to ask questions about it and before you know it, you're living a life that you didn't set out to, or that you intended to. You know what I mean?" Naomi asks, looking at Emily whose stepped in front of the blonde stopping her from walking.

Emily looks at her for a while before she speaks.

" Yes, I do." The redhead says softly, looking down while biting her bottom lip.

Naomi takes the opportunity to sit down on the sand, and continues speaking.

" I think that there are some great things that I'd like to do...that maybe I'm capable of hopefully." Naomi says.

" Oh yeah, like what? " Emily asks, still standing above the blonde.

" I don't know, we'll see. I'm still young." Naomi says, squinting her eyes to look up at the redhead.

Emily smiles, brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, sitting down next to the blonde.

"Well.. You're not that young." She says playfully to the blonde. Naomi looks over at her. " I'm sorry." Emily says giggling.

" So what about you? " Naomi asks, " With Claire, is that a good thing?"

Emily looks up at her for a long while then says softly.

" I don't know... I guess.." She trails off..

" You don't sound too enthused." Naomi quotes back Emily own earlier words to her.

" It's what's best for everyone..." The redhead states, looking away from Naomi.

" Well, however it works out, I hope you realize that you deserve someone great." Naomi says sincerely.

The blonde then looks deep in to the redheads brown eyes, the same ones staring back at her with just as much intensely in them. Naomi notices Emily eyes shift down to her lips, while licking her own. Emily lunges forward capturing the blondes lips in a passionate and desperate kiss.

Naomi slides her tongue against Emily's bottom lip, asking for entrance in which the redhead happily opens her mouth a little wider in invitation. As Emily runs her hands through Naomi's hair, she feels her heart beating out of her chests furiously, she feels her whole body tingling, and she never wants to stop kissing the blonde. She realizes than that she's never felt this way with anyone before ever, no one has ever made her feel the things that Naomi makes her feel just by simply looking at her, she smiles into the kiss at the realization.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N : I hope you enjoy! As ever thank you to everyone who reads and comments, it's greatly appreciated!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Skins...**

* * *

><p>The next day everyone is sitting around the table eating a quiet lunch together , Naomi catches Emily's eye and smiles at her, the redhead smiles back shyly, though most of her meal has been eaten with her head in her plate, barely looking up at anyone or anything. Before Naomi could think to much about it, she's brought away from thoughts by Claire tapping on her glass with a knife, and than standing up gaining everyone's attention in the room.<p>

" I have an announcement to make, we were going to wait to tell all of you, but the spirit of this weekend is such that we can't think of a better time to share our good news. " Claire looks right at Naomi as she says, " Emily and I are getting married!"

Everyone oohs, ahhhs and applauds expect Naomi, who is stunned. Emily looks at Claire, perplexed. Cook puts his hand on Naomi's arm to comfort her.

" Wonderful!" Rob shouts, excitedly. " Two of the greatest British families!

" Oh this is just brilliant!" Jenna claps.

" Bitch, why didn't you tell me!" Katie yells out happily.

Naomi is too busy processing everything to notice how upset Emily looks, and how the redhead has her eyes right on the blonde pleading. When Naomi refuse to meet Emily's eyes, the redhead turns to Claire.

" Claire.. We need to talk about this." She says through gritted teeth.

" Well, I'm thrilled! This is amazing news!" Rob adds, Emily looks over at him, then looks over at her mother and sister, she notices how happy they all seems to be, how proud.

Emily shoot Naomi another look that isn't returned so she gets up and exits outside with tears welling her eyes.

Outside the dining hall a minute later, Cook and Naomi meet to have a quick chat while everyone is fussing over Claire, congratulating her.

" Look babes, I'm sorry, yeah? You win some, you lose some. I'll get my shit and we'll get out of here, okay?" Cook says, trying to be comforting but also really wanting to leave this place behind and never look back.

Naomi takes a deep breath thinking things over.

" I can't do that." She says, softly.

" What the hell are you talking about, Nai?"

" I think I'm in love with her." Naomi says, looking at Cook.

" Naoms this is mad, it's fucking crazy!" Cook says, trying to get through to his friend.

" You know what? I'm just going to find her and tell her the truth." Naomi decides, leaving a frustrated Cook behind.

Naomi bolts outside. Cook looks out the window, he see Naomi rushing after Emily. He shakes his head and exits into the kitchen.

Cook see Katie running towards hims, he puts on a smile and hugs her back as she wraps her arm around his neck.

" Hey!" She greets

" Hey." He says, flatly. " Listen Katie, you know that I think you're an amazing person." He decides him and Naomi will be leaving soon so he might as well rip the bandaid and end this crazy thing." I feel like I have to be upfront with you, I really don't see this relationship going further then this weekend."

" What why? I thought you liked me?" Katie says, confused.

" And I do, and I know you will obviously have strong feelings for me because I was your first and all." Cook begins, Katie scoffs.

" Oh I wasn't a virgin." She laughs out, Cook looks at her confused.

" What?" He asks

" I wasn't a virgin." She repeats, " Far from it! I just thought that's what guys wanted to hear." She shrugs.

Cook looks completely taken aback.

" Come on.." Katie starts walking away," Me, a virgin? HA" She laughs, leaving the room, she can't believe he would believe her in the first place, I mean come on.

" Wow." Cook whispers in to the now empty room.

Moments later as Cook is still processing all of this, Father O'Neil walks in.

" Well, hello there son." Father greets smiling friendly at the young man.

" Hello Father." Cook says sulkily

" Are you okay? You look troubled." Father notices. He walks to the cabinet gesturing for Cook to take a sit, he joins him moments later with a bottle of brandy and two cups.

" Ah, you know... " Cook says shaking his head at the current situation.

" Katie is quite the handful, isn't she?" Father asks, patting Cook on the back in understanding.

" Understatement of the fucking year. " Cook scoffs than reliezes who he's talking to." Sorry." Father O' Neil just laughs.

" That's quite alright my boy." he responds, smiling kindly at the younger man.

That when Cook feels he can share his feeling with this man, afterall he was a man of god. And seeing as his best mate in the whole world seems to not give him the time of day, he doesn't see the harm in opening up a bit.

" C' mon, son. What's on your mind?" The Father asks.

Cook looks out the window and sighs deeply.

" I'd like to make a confession." Cook states.

" All right, son. I can hear your confession." Father O'Neil nods.

" It's all confidential, right?" He asks, just to make sure.

" Huh?" Father asks, confused

" I mean, you know... What i'm about to say and all..." Cook explains.

" You haven't been to church in a long time have you? Of course it's all confidential." He smiles at the younger man.

" Well, see, that's just it. I'm not a Catholic." Cook states.

" Pardon me? " Father asks.

" I'm a Jew." Cook clarifies

" Oh, Well, um okay." Father says, not really knowing what to do.

Cook's really feeling comfortable with the priest at this point. He's kicking back, confessing. Figures it won't hurt seeing as it won't go further than the two of them.

" But anyway.. the point is me and Naoms aren't venture capitalists. We're lawyers, And we do this, I mean crashing weddings in order to, uh.." Cook thinks how to put it.

" Meet girls?" Father O'Neil asks curiously.

" Yes, yea. Well, actually more than meet them. We, you know, hope to shag them. And, hey, if the band's good and the spread's decent, that's just bonus points." Cook smiles toothily.

" And did you "meet" anybody from this wedding? " Father O'Neil asks.

" Actually, I slept with Katie. Well, I didn't actually sleep with her. We did it once at the beach at the wedding and then she..." Cook makes a jerk- off motion with his hand. " At the dinner table. But I was not a willing participant, okay? " He adds when the priest gives him a weird look. " Long story."

" And what about your friend? With Emily?" The priest ask. Cook laughs.

" No, no. Get this! She thinks she's in love with her! Isn't that hilarious? See? That's why we've been here so long! Normally we're in and out in a couple hours and-" Father O'Neil cuts him off.

" Okay, okay. I get it." He puts up his hand.

" Phew! This felt great. Thank you! I think you guys might really have something with this confession business." Cook smiles, standing up to walk away. Leaving a troubled priest in his wake.

* * *

><p>In the Fitches family living room Claire is sitting on the couch with a bunch of people around her. Her cell phone rings. The caller ID says Gloria, so she excuses herself in the next room to answer it.<p>

" Claire bear!" Gloria greets.

" Gloria."

" Listen, about those siblings you ask me to look into...

* * *

><p>Naomi is following Emily down the beach. She's walking at a brisk pace.<p>

" C' mon Emily, wait up. " Naomi shouts, trying to pick up her pace.

Emily continues walking. The blonde continues.

" So... you're marrying her. huh? " She asks.

Emily stops walking and turns around to face Naomi, making the blonde nearly collide with her. She backs up a tiny bit when the petite redhead look like she staying put.

" Is that what you want to know?" Emily asks, looking genuinely upset. " Well, you heard it back at the house."

" Look, you can't marry her." Naomi states firmly, causing Emily to look at the blonde intensely.

" Why not?" She asks weakly. Still looking at Naomi, the blonde could swear she sees a hopeful expression.

" Because I'm falling in love with you." Naomi says softly, never breaking eye contact.

Emily stares at her for a moment or two before her eyes start to water and she has to take a deep breath and look elsewhere to try and calm her beating heart that feels as though it is about to explode. She finds her gaze has shifted to the ocean, which only reminds her of the cause of her rapidly beating heart, those incredibly beautiful blues eyes that she hasn't been able to stop thinking about since she laid eyes on them.

" Why are you doing this to me, Naomi? " She asks so quietly the blonde was surprised she even heard it at all.

" Because I think maybe you feel the same way?" Naomi asks hopeful although she already pretty much knew already. The redhead sighs.

" Maybe. " Emily smiles shyly.

" Maybe! That's all I needed to know." Naomi grins goofly. Emily giggles.

" But this is crazy! " Emily shouts playfully.

" What, why? " Naomi laughs.

" Because I don't know anything about you!" Emily says. " You do investments in London and you have a crazy brother-"

" Well actually I need to talk to you about that. It's not a big deal but maybe we should sit for a second." Naomi gestures.

Just as Naomi is about take seat a gunshot comes from the direction of the house.

" Oh my god! " Emily screams

" Run! Nai! Run! " Cooks screams running for his life out of the house.

" What the fuck?! Naomi yells.

They look back and see Cook being chased by Secretary Fitch, Jenna, James, Claire and Grandma Mary who's holding a large shotgun firing willy-nilly at Cook.

" He's a Jew!" Grandma Mary shouts.

She fires off another round and misses. Cook screams.

"Grandma!" Emily yells

Secretary Fitch grabs the rifles out of his mother hand trying to calm her down.

"What the fuck did you do!" Naomi turns to Cook looking at him through narrowed eyebrows.

Cook looks at Naomi guiltily.

" I spilled! I'm sorry. The Priest told me it was confidential!" Cook admits, glaring at the shameful looking priest.

Before Naomi could even say anything, Emily cut in.

" He spilled what?" She asks, looking at Naomi intensely.

" Oh fuck! Look, Ems, I need to tell you something quickly." Naomi tried to get out but was interrupted with a hard punch to the stomach that knocked the blonde down hard.

" Claire! What the fuck are you doing!" Emily yells, pushing Claire back roughly. Emily runs to Naomi's side. " Oh my god, are you okay!?" She asks visibly upset.

" Go head Naomi, tell her! " Claire yells, coming back to get another shot in while Naomi is cradling her stomach trying not to puke. She's pretty sure Claire is a jacked up on something with the way she knocked the air out of Naomi's lungs.

" Get the fuck away from her!" Emily screams at Claire putting her body in front of Naomi's to block any further swings.

" I can't believe you're defending her!" Claire says outraged, watching Emily carefully trying to sooth the blonde. " They're not who they say they are, Emily! Those aren't even their real names!" Claire informs.

" What? " Emily asks looking at Claire like she has two heads.

" Everything they've told you is a lie." Claire continues

" I don't understand what you're saying." Emily says quietly not able to take this all in.

Naomi was finally able to sit up since the wind was knocked out of her.

" Emily, they crash wedding's so they can shag girls!" Claire explains. " Everything they've ever told us is a complete fabrication."

Emily at this point is deep in thought, then she starts shaking her head.

" No, no. That's not true." Emily voice quivers despite her words.

Naomi moves to stand up, Claire notices and charges for her again. Emily is quick on her heels to protect the blonde.

" DON'T TOUCH HER!" Emily screams shoving Claire back again. Claire throws her hands up.

Emily takes a deep breath to compose herself, so many emotions are going on inside her head right now she doesn't quite know what to do. She notices than that Naomi has been awfully quiet while all this was happening. She quickly turns to a now standing Naomi whose holding her stomach.

" Is all that true?" She asks angrily looking into the bluest eyes she's ever seen, praying it's all been a big misunderstand.

" It's not entirely-" Naomi tries to say, but was cut off by Emily shaking her head.

"NO! It's a yes or no question." Emily demands, even though her voice is shaking as she tries to hold back her emotions.

" I know." Naomi starts softly. " But it's complicated."

" Yes or No." She says, firmly. She already knows by now but she needs to hear it from the blonde. Want her to say it. When moments pass with nothing being said she asks again this time in an almost a whisper. " Yes or no."

Naomi looks down and then back up at Emily, whose eyes never left hers.

" Yes." She sighs, watches as Emily almost stumbles. As if she herself received a punch in the stomach at the blondes words. The redhead takes a long deep breath trying to compose herself even though it's plain to see she is about two seconds away from sobbing. Her broken expression and the tear welling up in her eyes proof enough how much that one word affected her. Naomi's own heart broke at the sight.

" You really had me going, kid. " Rob breaks the painful silence. " I really thought you were something special." He says shaking his head at the blonde. " There's a ferry leaving in 20 minutes, I suggest you be on it." He shakes his head one last time before turning to walk back inside his house, followed by Katie, James, Jenna, and Grandma Mary.

" She made a fool out of you, Emily." Claire says to a devastated numb Emily. Still trying so hard to process all of this. Emily shakes her head, wiping away a tear that has slipped. " Come on, lets go." Claire says walking away not before shooting a look of pure disgust at Naomi.

Emily stays rooted to the spot looking at Naomi intensely as if she wants the blonde to say something... anything. But the blonde stays silence, there's nothing she can say to defend her actions.

" Sweetheart...!" Claire calls from a distance when she realize Emily hasn't made to follow her.

Emily stares a moment longer before Naomi sees from her peripheral vision the redhead shake her head and walk away. Too coward to even look her in the eyes. If she had she would have seen the pleading in them. But she did hear the sniffling as she walked away. She's made a lot of women cry in her day, but being the cause of Emily's tears nearly killed her.


End file.
